Everyone looking for a mentor. Newbies - pay attention

OP

Investor · LOUISVILLE, KY · Member since 2013 · 299 posts · 137 votes

10y

@Justin R.

The key in your post, though is, you seem to be an action-taker. For, if you weren't, how would you've found those people? This is one of the differences I see in successful people and people that are not successful.

I see sooooooooooooo many new people come on, introduce themselves, put out that they're looking for a mentor, and then....poof. Gone, forever.

Nobody's ever really taken them to task on what I view to be 1) wishful thinking or 2) straight BS.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be the "table captain". I just view so much potential in people like this. They don't know what they don't know; about many things, but specifically about their own tremendous capability. People are so powerful, and they have no idea.

Bryan O.

Specialist · Lakewood, CO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

10y

I agree @Account Closed. I have not had a mentor, but I can see the huge value they could add to your business. However, if you aren't already knowledgeable then you are worthless to a good mentor. You don't go to Juilliard to decide if you might be a good musician!

Brenda Lyons

Toledo, OH · Member since 2015 · 63 posts · 27 votes

10y

@ Adam Roehm I like your Attitude 😉 Thank you for posting it

David Dachtera

Rental Property Investor · Rockford, IL · Member since 2014 · 4k+ posts · 2k+ votes

10y

I've had private requests to mentor people, and I'm willing to do that ... if they then didn't immediately go into the mentee protection program and drop off the face of the earth.

I'd much prefer that people take the education I'm part of BEFORE they approach me.

Yeah, I KNOW they probably don't think they can afford it. I said the same thing initially. My subsequent lack of progress was an education in itself: it taught me that I need to commit to what I want or it will never appear in my life. I found the funding. I took my classes. I'm seeking deals and posting here.

Why post here? It is, perhaps, wisely said that we teach is twice learned. In order to help others understand, you must first clarify your own understanding. As deals come my way, I am more confident in my own learning and understanding and, therefore, more confident moving forward where others may still hesitate.

Your own education is the value you bring to both your own endeavors and to your mentor. If you come in with fundamental understanding, I can help you deepen your own knowledge and understanding. If you come in "cold", now I'm investing my time in your education rather than you doing that on your own. THAT is the part of the deal where I will NOT "work for free".

Come to me WITH an education and I will not hesitate to partner with you such that I only get paid when you make a profit. That's the only way I would work with a mentor myself.

David J Dachtera

"Success is not a destination. Failure is not an event. Success is a process, failure is a choice."

- DJ Benedict

208-608-4884 Podcast Guest on Show #80

Jonna WeberPro Member

Moderator

Investor · Boise, ID · Member since 2011 · 1k+ posts · 736 votes

10y

@Account Closed - The HVAC technician analogy is good.

I love hosting our local BP meet ups - but it is amazing how many people have cycled through in the two years I've been hosting them. Many are so excited, but then I never hear from them again. I am delighted when I see a new investor come back for a second meet up, because they are giving themselves a real chance to win.

Richard Balsam

Investor · Alpharetta, GA · Member since 2015 · 242 posts · 185 votes

10y

I completely agree with the above. Real estate investing is a career choice - not a passive thing like sitting back and watching TV shows that are edited to show how easy it is to make $50K-100K+++ on an easy California flip, LA mansion sale, etc, etc. Yes these numbers are out there- all across the US - to those that have been doing the business, systematized to work efficiently, and don't know what 9-5, M-F is all about. I have been doing investing for years now, mostly buy-fix-keep, but have sold a few over the years.

Almost everyone I meet that asks me what I do- want to get involved - but don't have any experience - and want free help to start. I understand their desire- but not how they plan on starting without a commitment to education first. There are a lot of pitfalls to watch out for regarding houses- as we all know - and to see people wanting to jump in without learning what to do - is scary to watch. Just watch the edited for TV show- First Time Flippers. and see how many say at the end of the show- they're done flipping. Of course- a few say they want to do more- at least they have some experience now...school of hard knocks style!

In a way- I'm glad that all those that do not do their first deal- stay away. It could be in their best interest to not get involved- without proper education - whether free or paid for. I'm always learning something new, what to watch out for, what works, etc. I'm sure most reading this feel the same way. We're all "honing our craft" in the field we chose within real estate investing. I've spent a lot of money over the years learning from courses, seminars, etc - and will continue to do so. It has been my best ROI - when I apply what I have learned from others willing to share their experiences for money - whether a mentor, course, webinar, etc- as long as the education is real life and practical, and has an application in what i am trying to do. It beats the "winging it" approach - if it shortens the learning curve, and proves profitable.

Registered Nurse (ICU) · San Jose, CA · Member since 2014 · 496 posts · 332 votes

10y

I think the key words here are education, networking, and action. By doing all these things you will eventually find people the right people to help you. In my opinion a lot of investors enjoy helping others. It's a "pay it forward" thing. We all have that special someone that helped us get our start and it's only right to be that special someone for someone else.

Justin R.

Developer · San Diego, CA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

10y

Originally posted by @Account Closed:

@Justin R.

The key in your post, though is, you seem to be an action-taker. For, if you weren't, how would you've found those people? This is one of the differences I see in successful people and people that are not successful.

I see sooooooooooooo many new people come on, introduce themselves, put out that they're looking for a mentor, and then....poof. Gone, forever.

Nobody's ever really taken them to task on what I view to be 1) wishful thinking or 2) straight BS.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be the "table captain". I just view so much potential in people like this. They don't know what they don't know; about many things, but specifically about their own tremendous capability. People are so powerful, and they have no idea.

Yeah, I hear ya, and don't disagree. The reason I bought my first rental was because my father-in-law basically made me. And, I'm very grateful for that. I realize that, at the end of the day, regardless of how much of a "doer" I am, I didn't do what I've done all by myself.

I guess I'm willing to just ignore 95% of the newbie posts and accept they'll probably disappear. But I'd also like to give those folks at least one invite: "I'm going to the next REI club meeting on X if you want to come too" or "I'm working at X property on Sunday from 1-5 - feel free to join if you'd like." Let the doers separate themselves from the rest.

Uk · Member since 2016 · 4 posts · 1 vote

10y

Very good post!

Registered Nurse (ICU) · San Jose, CA · Member since 2014 · 496 posts · 332 votes

10y

if all investors stick together and help each other we all become better investors.

Cosmo Lee

Buena Park, CA · Member since 2016 · 31 posts · 12 votes

10y

I've seen this all the time in poker. I'm a regular member of a similar forum for poker players. I used to see a lot of new people stalking the really good players asking for coaching/being their new best friend, hoping that a coaching session would miraculously turn them into elite level poker players. However, that's never the case, one must work to attain it. A mentor/coach can only guide you and help you reach your potential but if you're not willing to work, play a lot of hands gaining experience, and study hands and tendencies of your opponents, you'll never be a good poker player. The successful ones usually find other motivated people like themselves.

Podcast Guest on Show The “Conveyor Belt” System That’ll Build You a BIG Rental Portfolio Quickly

Gino BarbaroPro Member

Rental Property Investor · St Augustine, FL · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes

10y

@Account Closed

Well said. I normally tell people you get what you pay for. I don't think you need to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on education, but you need to find a successful mentor/coach and learn from them

Thanks Adam

Gino

OP

Investor · LOUISVILLE, KY · Member since 2013 · 299 posts · 137 votes

10y

Originally posted by @Cosmo Lee:

The successful ones usually find other motivated people like themselves.

I am trying to start (have started. Did one last week) a regular networking session, outside of the (very large) REIA for similar reasons as this thought.

The motivation behind this post was the same motivation for me starting the networking session. I see a LOT of new people get in and quit. It could be for many reasons, but they quit. I have a feeling that a lot of this game is extremely overwhelming for new people. (Granted, some are just lazy. I'll never change those people).

My intention in starting the local group was for many reasons; inherently selfish reasons, if I was being candid. The more I can help others, the more I help myself, in spades. So, I plan on giving this a go for a year or so every weekend; to help new people and push the veterans (some of whom I know have lost their drive).

The more we can network, learn and take action, the better off the (local) community will ultimately be.

So, going back to the original post, rather than just rant about what I see to be a huge problem, I decided to try and do something about it. I'm no natural leader, but I don't really have to be. I'll get through it. I'll make mistakes, just like I did when I started investing. I don't care. Educated action overcomes almost any mistake.

Guy Gimenez

Investor · Corpus Christi, TX · Member since 2012 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes

10y

@Account Closed

Thanks for the beautiful post Adam.

Gurus are smart enough to know that 95% of the those who "jump in" to real estate this year will jump out within 6 to 12 months....that's why the Guru's get their money up front. It's a great business model because there is always a new batch of people who get bored with whatever the're doing today and they believe someone will hand-hold them to success at no charge in real estate...after all, how hard can it be? They simply have no concept of what it takes to build a profitable business and the value of one's time in that process.

I'm not knocking "newbies"....just relaying my 16 years of observation in the investing arena. I get calls and emails every week from folks who want to take me to lunch and "pick my brain". Right, I spend 16 years working day and night, studying, spending tens of thousands of dollars for my education, missing vacations and family events and you want to take me out for a $15 meal so you can pick my brain. This in itself shows a tremendous lack of basic business understanding.

A party (mentor) who agrees to mentor anyone for free before the mentoree has proven his/herself worthy of such, likely knows the value they (mentor), bring to the table. With that said, I love this because it keeps the part-timers out the game while they're trying to build credibility with the newly minted investor.

Ian WalshBusiness Member

Lender · Philadelphia, PA · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes

10y

Originally posted by @Account Closed:

I come on to BP every day. I've got a large amount of keywords set up.

One of them is "mentor". You can imagine, I see posts every day of new people coming on looking for a mentor.

Here's the thing. I get it. I understand that you want a mentor.

There are two ways to find a mentor.
1) Pay for mentorship

2) Don't pay for mentorship.

It is this second choice that I'm certain nearly 100% of new investors are looking for.

I'm telling you that you are doing it wrong. You will not get a mentor in this manner. It will not happen (and if it does, it's most likely you've already had a personal relationship with that individual).

...

Real estate scares the crap out of me. There's fear. I'm human. Just the way it is.

It's the same way for everyone. What are we afraid of? Loss. The Unknown. This list could be larger, but these are the two main ones.

I can tell you if you are looking for someone to take you by the hand, tell you what to learn and tell you what actions to take, it probably won't happen. You can forget it. You want a mom, not a mentor.

Get on here every day. Learn. Don't stop learning. Learn enough that you can take action and get a deal under contract. UNTIL you do that, don't even think about getting a mentor. It probably won't happen.

I'm probably a wet blanket in this. This post will probably not be popular.

But, and listen closely, action is key. Learn. Then, take action. Once you take action, the world will notice.

Network. Get to know people. EVERYONE. There are so many people involved in this business, even if only peripherally. Fill your contact list with everyone that you think you could ever do business. Go to REIA meetings. Start your own group (I'm doing this. Though I have done a flip and purchased a rental house, I consider myself green as they come. But, there's only one way to solve it. Education and ACTION).

....

Stop watching TV. So many people use the excuse that they have no time for (fill-in-the-blank). Really? How much TV do you watch every night? You're wasting your life. How much did that episode of Walking Dead that you watched 2 years ago change your life? How much did the Wheel of Fortune episode 16 years ago change your life?

Make a goal. Put your first house under contract, in whatever manner is appropriate for the investing style you've chosen. If you have a hard time finding a direction, come here and learn. There are a myriad of free guides to help you along.

Remember this also: real estate investing is not a hobby. This is a total career change. If you wanted to start working on furnaces, you wouldn't advertise that you work on furnaces without (at the VERY least) taking a course on how to fix furnaces. You would probably go to school for a couple of years to become an HVAC technician. Why would you view this to be different?

So, don't be the person that goes out and puts a property under contract without knowing what you are doing. In that case, you truly are your own worst enemy. Learn. Take action.

Change your mindset. Raise your standards. Work harder than anyone you know. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. It's none of their business. (Most people will try to dissuade you anyway. Forget about them). There is no reason for you not to succeed. It is all up to you. Decide.

....

Now, back to the original point. STOP looking for a mentor. Learn. Educate yourself. Network. Start an accountability group. Take action. Make it happen.

Once you actually start doing this business for real, then think about a mentor.

Keep rockin'.

This is a good straight forward post.

Geovany Aranzazu

Hackensack, NJ · Member since 2016 · 4 posts · 3 votes

10y

Originally posted by @Account Closed:

I come on to BP every day. I've got a large amount of keywords set up.

One of them is "mentor". You can imagine, I see posts every day of new people coming on looking for a mentor.

Here's the thing. I get it. I understand that you want a mentor.

There are two ways to find a mentor.
1) Pay for mentorship

2) Don't pay for mentorship.

It is this second choice that I'm certain nearly 100% of new investors are looking for.

I'm telling you that you are doing it wrong. You will not get a mentor in this manner. It will not happen (and if it does, it's most likely you've already had a personal relationship with that individual).

...

Real estate scares the crap out of me. There's fear. I'm human. Just the way it is.

It's the same way for everyone. What are we afraid of? Loss. The Unknown. This list could be larger, but these are the two main ones.

I can tell you if you are looking for someone to take you by the hand, tell you what to learn and tell you what actions to take, it probably won't happen. You can forget it. You want a mom, not a mentor.

Get on here every day. Learn. Don't stop learning. Learn enough that you can take action and get a deal under contract. UNTIL you do that, don't even think about getting a mentor. It probably won't happen.

I'm probably a wet blanket in this. This post will probably not be popular.

But, and listen closely, action is key. Learn. Then, take action. Once you take action, the world will notice.

Network. Get to know people. EVERYONE. There are so many people involved in this business, even if only peripherally. Fill your contact list with everyone that you think you could ever do business. Go to REIA meetings. Start your own group (I'm doing this. Though I have done a flip and purchased a rental house, I consider myself green as they come. But, there's only one way to solve it. Education and ACTION).

....

Stop watching TV. So many people use the excuse that they have no time for (fill-in-the-blank). Really? How much TV do you watch every night? You're wasting your life. How much did that episode of Walking Dead that you watched 2 years ago change your life? How much did the Wheel of Fortune episode 16 years ago change your life?

Make a goal. Put your first house under contract, in whatever manner is appropriate for the investing style you've chosen. If you have a hard time finding a direction, come here and learn. There are a myriad of free guides to help you along.

Remember this also: real estate investing is not a hobby. This is a total career change. If you wanted to start working on furnaces, you wouldn't advertise that you work on furnaces without (at the VERY least) taking a course on how to fix furnaces. You would probably go to school for a couple of years to become an HVAC technician. Why would you view this to be different?

So, don't be the person that goes out and puts a property under contract without knowing what you are doing. In that case, you truly are your own worst enemy. Learn. Take action.

Change your mindset. Raise your standards. Work harder than anyone you know. Don't tell anyone what you are doing. It's none of their business. (Most people will try to dissuade you anyway. Forget about them). There is no reason for you not to succeed. It is all up to you. Decide.

....

Now, back to the original point. STOP looking for a mentor. Learn. Educate yourself. Network. Start an accountability group. Take action. Make it happen.

Once you actually start doing this business for real, then think about a mentor.

Keep rockin'. This post just made my day! Great way to put things in perspective! I'm on that ride you mention with tools and investors but dont know how to execute when its time due to lack of knowledge. This is just Fuel to my drive to get it right THANK YOU

Brad B.

Covington, WA · Member since 2016 · 21 posts · 4 votes

10y

Originally posted by @Justin R.:

Adam Roehm Mixed feelings. I think the "Make yourself useful to someone who's doing what you want to do" is a far better approach than "Go find a mentor" ... Not sure if you'd agree with your post.

Over the last year or so, I've spent some quality time with a couple new folks as they've helped me with some of the less glamorous parts of buy-and-hold. That includes trenching for electrical lines, skim coating drywall, landscaping, and - yes - due diligence on new purchases.

I don't know if that's a "mentor" or not, but I admire folks who roll up their sleeves and dive in. I'm thankful for their help and I certainly hope they feel like they're getting good exposure to the business in the process. Win-win for everyone.

I really think that this is more what beginners, like myself are looking for these days. I'm not looking to pay someone but I am more than willing to work my butt off to help an experienced investor while learning the ropes along the way. It's hard to find that right mentor. In my situation, I work full time and have a high energy toddler, so time is not readily available, but for the right person, Someone in situation is more than happy to make as much time as needed for that mentor.

You have to give to get.