Your only option is a short sale, which the bank is not going to hand you on a silver platter.

And the cons: they are next door.So, I’ve also considered a single-fam, short-term vacation rental property in the Vermont ski areas, the Catskills, or some other yet-to-be-researched/discovered location.Anyway, as you can see, I need to keep researching to find out where the best opportunity is for me.

With the short time to move out state, I offer to take care of house.

As opposed to buying a house, as soon as you sign (or shortly thereafter) you own the property and the transaction is complete.

A week is too short.   

and yes City of Portland is extremely strict with the short term rentals, they even go on the airbnb website to look for operators without a permit.

It depends on if IRS considers you an investor or trader. they look at different factors, I pulled court cases where they looked at these:(1) the taxpayer's investment intent; (2) the nature of the income to be derived from the activity; and (3) the frequency, extent, and regularity of the taxpayer's securities transactions (Kay; Mayer; and Moller)  A taxpayer is a securities trader only when both of the following are true: (1) the taxpayer's trading activity is substantial; and (2) the taxpayer seeks to profit from short-term swings in the daily market movement, rather than to profit from the long-term holding of investments. 

It may not appreciate much now, or even take a small short term dip, but several years from now you will be set.

It’s not particularly attractive, and if removing it will allow you to create better flow, that will probably add more value than the fireplace itself.

Buy the best you can and focus on a building that will attract the class of tenant you want to deal with.