Then he stuffed the rental agreement into one of the holes he made.

I stuffed insulation inside the couple properties that have them and told the tenants they are non operational.

I have zero experience in the hotel industry, but I had zero experience in real estate investing or financial freedom two months ago (other than just stuffing money in my 401(k)).

A few months ago, my daughter was playing soccer at a park in Palos Verdes California (fairly high-class community), someone broke into her car and stole her purse that was stuffed underneath the front seat. 

It may not be worthwhile after all the expenses / too tricky or time intensive to manage, comparing to just stuffing money into an Index Fund and letting it ride....Best of luck!

You could offer to provide some service to them (not sure what your day job is, if you have one) such as being a birddog, stuffing envelopes, etc. to learn their tricks.Another possibility if you know that you can get a stellar deal with cash is to network with Private / Hard money lenders willing to fork over the full amount, then find once the loan is seasoned (6-12 months) refinance at a better rate.

That includes the labor, stuffing envelopes, talking to sellers, building a website, etc...  

He was routinely getting $5 bills stuffed in his pockets, with comments like "Oh, here take this... it looks like you could use a drink as well when you get home..."

Came back and tossed it outside my truck window till they all were too stuffed to eat anymore, then animal control picked them up without any issues.  

They can lend based on what they want to do rather than stuffing you into the Fannie/Freddie machine.