A Newbie Riding the Roller Coaster

I don't know if this is good our bad but this roller coaster of emotions, fears, and actions is quickly becoming my new normal.  When I committed to this journey in August 2017, I expected to learn a lot about real estate, business, and leadership.  I didn't expect to learn so much about the mind monsters in my own head.  

My emotions.  My Bigmama has always told me that I was too sensitive.  I dismissed it as the loving reproach of a grandmother who loved me, but didn't know me.  Turns out she was dead on.  My tendency is to bury my emotions as I take care of those I'm responsible for.  What that means is that those who know me see the stress that I'm carrying before I'm willing to acknowledge it or deal with it.

So far, I've tried to take on my real estate journey without burdening my family or those closest to me.  This means that when I get stuck, frustrated, and overwhelmed, there's no one in my immediate circle who can help. This means that I find myself overwhelmed and paralyzed with fear.  Paralyzed with the thought that I will hurt my family or friends financial well-being or security.  Eventually, I'll remember my small insignificant decisions are minuscule and I am simply called to be the best that I can be.  I am called to make the next best decision, not to save the world with one decision in a day.

I call it a roller coaster because I've mentally checked out multiple times in a day, a week, and a month during this journey.  Thankfully, action always comes after I remember all that is needed is the next best decision.