Tips for female investors: dealing with male clients?

Question

Hello,

This question is for fellow female investors out there, particularly those of you who are single. I have experienced nothing but respectfulness and helpfulness from the male investors I have worked with, which is awesome! (thanks, guys! ). However, I have been having issues interacting with male clients as I have been taking and assessing leads (my focus is on wholesaling for now). I am a single female in my late 20's, and recently had a client continually pester me, asking me out on dates, and acting as though we are in a relationship. He continues to pester me by phone. That particular deal ended up falling through anyway, but my concern is that this will continue to happen and I will end up killing many leads when I politely decline advances before a deal is finalized. I am working on my own and have no one to accompany me to sites when I am assessing a property. I already generally do not wear makeup and wear non-descript yet professional clothing.  I used to wear a pixie cut, so I went many years without men bothering me at all, but I would prefer not to return to that. Short of wearing a fake ring and attending assertiveness training, I am not sure how to handle these kinds of situations. I don't want sexism to prevent me from bettering my life, but this is really dissuading me from continuing. If you have advice or encouragement, I would really appreciate it!

Nathan M. · Answer

I know this is directed to other women, but---HERE, LET ME MANSPLAIN THIS FOR YOU...

Yeah, this is a problem. A lot of guys just suck, plain and simple. But it's a problem you're going to run into no matter what industry you are in. Sexism/systemic misogyny is unfortunately a reality of our society at present. Don't let that dissuade you from pursuing a career or opportunities that you otherwise want! This may not sound like encouragement, but perhaps it can be dissuasion from being dissuaded?

On the podcast, Brandon talks about using your unfair advantage, whatever that is. Some people come from money, some people had a previous career in finance and know lots of investors, some people are really handy and save a killing on fixing things. In this case, one of your advantages also has some drawbacks. People find you attractive. There are probably times that it's helpful without you realizing it! I recall hearing that there were studies done that found that conventionally attractive people have an easier time doing almost everything that involves interacting with people. Attractive servers are tipped better, attractive women are given breaks on their rent, etc. I don't have a citation for this, but you get the point. None of this is to say that the drawbacks are unimportant. They matter. But if you can be conscious of the fact that it's an also an advantage, maybe you can employ it intentionally and it will help with how you feel about it.

I worked in an industry where I had to field interest from men less than regularly but more than just on occasion. For me, though, these were either donors (nonprofit) or people I was bound to run into throughout my career as it was a very small world, which made it a very delicate situation. So on the bright side, at least if you shut down some loser who won't leave you alone, it may kill a deal, but it won't kill your career. It's absolutely your right to say, "I want to keep this relationship professional." If it doesn't take, fire that client and you can move right along to a new one.

If none of that helps, maybe you can do a daily affirmation like this kid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ifIQNwXBE

As they say in The Handmaid's Tale: nolite te bastardes carborundorum.