swimming up river against the crowd- negative people surround me

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swimming up river against the crowd- negative people surround me

Annette A.
Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes

Some days i wake up and have to encourage myself in my goal; I must admit i have lost some of the omph' but i am continuing to plug away to accomplish this goal.

(some days every body around is so negative its hard not to let them effect me- but I AM PUSHING FORWARD regardless of those around me. I KNOW a good thing and i AM a visionary. I have faced the fact that I AM not like everybody else around me in their thinking and they dont understand me. So I must find positive connections of others that get it.)

today is one of those days... I wonder why i bother? Its like fighting to swim up river against a school of ??  bumping and pushing... trying to get somewhere different then the way they are trying to pull me. (sigh)

Does anybody else here hear what i am saying? Have yoooooou, do you feel this way at times? 

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JD MartinBusiness Member
Moderator
Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
10y

"Wantrepreneur". I like it! 

First thing I do when hearing negativity or criticism is consider the source. Is the person:

  • Genuinely concerned about my well being?
  • Successful in their own right?
  • Comfortable with the success of others?
  • Knowledgeable in the field of which they discuss?

If I can't honestly answer "Yes" to all of the above, I largely ignore it. Why spend time or energy on people who want to bring you down? At the end of the day, there are few people who actually give a crap whether you've done well or not, so spend time and energy on the few that do. Listen to your instincts. Seek out your own knowledge. 

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Skyline Properties
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  • Ryan Dossey
    Real Estate Broker · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    10y

    Absolutely. You're an entrepreneur. I really like audio books. Grant Cardone's 10x Rule is great. If you're still working for the man I recommend listening to something (even if its podcasts) on your way to/from work to help you stay focused. 

    Set goals and move towards completing them every single day. 

    You're at the stage where you're either going to do this or wish you had for the rest of your life. You're going to be an entrepreneur or a wantrepreneur. It's up to you.

    3Reply
  • JD MartinBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    10y

    "Wantrepreneur". I like it! 

    First thing I do when hearing negativity or criticism is consider the source. Is the person:

    • Genuinely concerned about my well being?
    • Successful in their own right?
    • Comfortable with the success of others?
    • Knowledgeable in the field of which they discuss?

    If I can't honestly answer "Yes" to all of the above, I largely ignore it. Why spend time or energy on people who want to bring you down? At the end of the day, there are few people who actually give a crap whether you've done well or not, so spend time and energy on the few that do. Listen to your instincts. Seek out your own knowledge. 

    Podcast Guest on Show #243
    Skyline Properties
    View Page
    10Reply
  • Ryan Dossey
    Real Estate Broker · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    10y

    @JD Martin I do love that expression. 

    Really like your litmus test. Often I find that it's people who are "#1" BUT not any of the others. There is a really negative stigma on success by the general population. 

    1Reply
  • Franklin Romine
    Visalia-Fresno, CA · Member since 2009 · 1k+ posts · 863 votes
    10y

    @Annette A.

    I'm listening.  This noise around you will destroy you.  Find people with a new vibration. You might have to move, get a new job and piss a few people off.

    Once I created a definite purpose and target I started seeing, listening and talking to the right people building relationships.

    Everyone that has a target is going through this.... there is canyon with a tight rope we must cross to get to the other side.  We think, focus and look straight we will cross/succeed.  We get distract, drop our guard and look down we will fall/fail.


    Frank

    1Reply
  • Christopher Zito
    Investor · Manhattan, KS · Member since 2015 · 15 posts · 7 votes
    10y

    I think everybody who is an entrepreneur has confidence trouble especially when things aren't going as well as you hoped, or when people "who know more" tell you your business. Last year was hard for us as we had several houses that we just couldn't get finished, and when they got finished they just sat there not selling.

    We went through some serious soul-searching to see if this was what we really wanted to do. We came out on the other side deciding that we would continue our business, but slow down a bit.

    There will always be nay sayers in this world, it's up to you as to whether you  listen to them or not. Have a goal. Whether you achieve it or not is not the final point, but it gives you something solid to work for!


    Good Luck, and you can always find positive vibe here on BP!

    1Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    Thanks @Ryan Dossey for your encouragment. :D nice pet on the back, keep going.  I will check into this Grant Cardone's 10x Rule. I do need to "hear" some positive boosting talk. Something to counter the negative i hear.  

    I hear you; "I want to be an entrepreneur, not a wantrepreneur." It is deff up to me to keep moving. 

    2Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    @JD Martin good point. :D

    "Why spend time or energy on people who want to bring you down? At the end of the day, there are few people who actually give a crap whether you've done well or not, so spend time and energy on the few that do. Listen to your instincts. Seek out your own knowledge."

    1Reply
  • Ryan Dossey
    Real Estate Broker · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    10y
    Originally posted by @Annette A.:

    Thanks @Ryan Dossey for your encouragment. :D nice pet on the back, keep going.  I will check into this Grant Cardone's 10x Rule. I do need to "hear" some positive boosting talk. Something to counter the negative i hear.  

    I hear you; "I want to be an entrepreneur, not a wantrepreneur." It is deff up to me to keep moving. 

     I'm right there with you. The difference is making it... or posting motivation quotes on FB. 

    As unprofessional as it is Eminem has got a song "Success is my only Bleep Bleep option failures not."

    That's how you have to view it.

    1Reply
  • Toby Seiler
    Rochester, IN · Member since 2014 · 14 posts · 6 votes
    10y

    Entrepreneurs are always swimming up hill.  Having done it for 35+ years, I guarantee extreme down times that weigh heavily on ones soul.  

    Look into "self hypnosis".  Make a commitment to your positive mental health and make yourself believe it.  You can convince yourself of just about anything if you try.  If you dwell on the negative, it closes your mind.  Make a list of the positive and repeat them until YOU believe them.  

    With about 95% of small business failing in the first 5 years, you have lots of company.  

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    thanks @Toby Seiler. it is true tho, you are  what you think you are and if you dwell on the negative you wont get there. :)

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    @Franklin Romine thanks for your great words of encouragment. :) 

    "We think, focus and look straight we will cross/succeed. We get distract, drop our guard and look down we will fall/fail."

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    thanks @Christopher Zito :)

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    @Ryan Dossey you are a great motivator. I have looked up that person you mentioned and am looking into it. :)

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    Book review i found online I  highlighted a few key things.

    "Overview;

    Extreme success, by definition, lies beyond the realm of normal action. If you want to achieve extreme success, you can't operate like everybody else and settle for mediocrity. You need to remove luck and chance from your business equation, and lock in massive success. The 10X Rule shows you how! Success is your duty, obligation, and responsibility, and this book gives you step-by-step guidance on how to achieve phenomenal success for yourself!

    With The 10X Rule, you'll learn to establish the amount of effort needed to guarantee success and ensure that you can continue operating at this level throughout your life. Most people desire success and have great ideas but they come up short on the amount of action required to get their lives to the exceptional levels they deserve. Four degrees of action exist, and in order to achieve your dreams, you must learn to operate at the fourth degree of action: Massive Action. The 10X Rule will dissolve fears, increase your belief in yourself, eliminate procrastination, and provide you with an overwhelming sense of purpose. The 10X Rule compels you to separate yourself from everyone else in the market—and you do that by doing what others refuse to do. Stop thinking in terms of basic needs, and start aiming for abundance—in all areas of your life.

    The 10X Rule guides you toward the frame of mind that all successful people share. Aim ten times higher than you are right now—and if you come up short, you'll still find yourself further along than if you had maintained your life's current status quo. The 10X Rule teaches you how to:

    • Reach goals that you previously thought were impossible
    • Correctly set goals and guarantee their achievement
    • Create unprecedented levels of happiness and satisfaction in every area of your life
    • Use fear as fuel to move you into action
    • Get everything you want and never have to settle
    • Dominate your competition and become a role model for success"
    0Reply
  • Joseph Weisenbloom
    Investor · Austin, TX · Member since 2013 · 443 posts · 174 votes
    10y

    Surround yourself with the right people and you wont hear any of the background noise from negative influences. Haters hate because they know they couldn't do what you can do even if they tried. Most people are weak but you are strong because you have decided to take your destiny into your own hands.

    2Reply
  • Ryan Dossey
    Real Estate Broker · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    10y
    Originally posted by @Annette A.:

    Book review i found online I  highlighted a few key things.

    "Overview;

    Extreme success, by definition, lies beyond the realm of normal action. If you want to achieve extreme success, you can't operate like everybody else and settle for mediocrity. You need to remove luck and chance from your business equation, and lock in massive success. The 10X Rule shows you how! Success is your duty, obligation, and responsibility, and this book gives you step-by-step guidance on how to achieve phenomenal success for yourself!

    With The 10X Rule, you'll learn to establish the amount of effort needed to guarantee success and ensure that you can continue operating at this level throughout your life. Most people desire success and have great ideas but they come up short on the amount of action required to get their lives to the exceptional levels they deserve. Four degrees of action exist, and in order to achieve your dreams, you must learn to operate at the fourth degree of action: Massive Action. The 10X Rule will dissolve fears, increase your belief in yourself, eliminate procrastination, and provide you with an overwhelming sense of purpose. The 10X Rule compels you to separate yourself from everyone else in the market—and you do that by doing what others refuse to do. Stop thinking in terms of basic needs, and start aiming for abundance—in all areas of your life.

    The 10X Rule guides you toward the frame of mind that all successful people share. Aim ten times higher than you are right now—and if you come up short, you'll still find yourself further along than if you had maintained your life's current status quo. The 10X Rule teaches you how to:

    • Reach goals that you previously thought were impossible
    • Correctly set goals and guarantee their achievement
    • Create unprecedented levels of happiness and satisfaction in every area of your life
    • Use fear as fuel to move you into action
    • Get everything you want and never have to settle
    • Dominate your competition and become a role model for success"

     His whole thing is basically going flat out. Doing 10x what's normal. Very good motivational audio book. He's kind of weird in some of his personal beliefs. But I like his bluntness. He has a chapter in the book called "Woe is me the whiny little *****". 

    0Reply
  • Douglas Snook
    Attorney · Attleboro, MA · Member since 2015 · 412 posts · 165 votes
    10y

    I hear you. I find myself in that situation from time to time. It is easy to feel beaten down. I get a lot of it especially since my spouse is not on board with anything about real estate investing. I call her the dream crusher. She says she is a realist. My response is at least I have a dream!

    So come on here or go to a real estate investing meeting for encouragement! 

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    @Ryan Dossey i found some videos online. He is an interesting Character, but motivational. I also found his facebook page. He makes a lot of sense. The video i watched he was at a talk show and he explained that his office turns over employees alot, cause if they (i dont recall his exact words) but in essence if they have negative energy and brings down the vibe of the office- he cans them and brings in more. 

    Of course in life we cant do that when these people are family; but he does also talk of NOT pleasing everybody. Just do what makes you happy. to FOCUS on the goal and NOT worry bout pleasing everybody.  

    He is a good read and listen to. I shall buy the 10x's. 

    0Reply
  • Ryan Dossey
    Real Estate Broker · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    10y

    If you set up a new account on audible you can get a book for free. That's what I'd do! 

    0Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    @Douglas Snook :D thank you. o boy do i know what you mean bout the spouse thing. Some people just DONT GET IT, but down the road is the hope that maybe they will at least accept it as successful. (progress speaks volumns- the results will eventually get rid of some of those family gainsayers. :D)

    That is another thing i need to do for myself.. find a investors group in my state... to go hang with like minded people. 

    1Reply
  • Annette A.
    OP
    Waterville, ME · Member since 2015 · 269 posts · 53 votes
    10y

    ok thanks @Ryan Dossey 

    0Reply
  • John Thedford
    Real Estate Broker · Naples, FL · Member since 2013 · 9k+ posts · 6k+ votes
    10y

    Ignore negativity. GET EVEN...by being successful. Read great books, absorb great ideas and knowledge, and move forward. One of my all time favorite books is "Illusions" by Richard Bach. This is an excellent book that makes a great gift to someone you care about that lets negativity and non-believing rule them. And remember...YOU will become the product of YOUR thoughts and beliefs...and nobody has any power over you that you haven't granted them!

    1Reply
  • George P.
    Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    10y
    1Reply
  • Daren H.
    Real Estate Investor · Desoto, TX · Member since 2013 · 560 posts · 528 votes
    10y

    Even in successful circles there are negative people. The medium successful business owner who is content is negative to the other medium successful business owner who wants to go big. There will be negative people we even love like family and close friends. I hear their words but I am not listening :)

    2Reply
  • Aaron Mazzrillo
    Investor · Riverside, CA · Member since 2011 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    10y

    Friends are like shoes; some old ones are great to keep around, but eventually you need to go out and get yourself some new ones.

    3Reply
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