A pointless life...

Investor Mindset
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A pointless life...

Colin White
Member since 2008 · 5 posts · 0 votes

...is what I don't want.

So where do I start? I need money, yeah, what's new. I'm just a kid out of high school. So, should I take the usual route and go to college and study business, or accounting, or medicine, or something else I don't really care about in order to get a moderate-paying job, go out to the suburbs and get a cute little house and get a 9 to 5 job doing crap I don't care about, then come home and watch tv and go to sleep, then wake up the next morning and do it all over again? Is this the point of living?

I'm not here to get "bigger pockets", I'm here to learn how to make money so that I can finally get that out of my overburdened consciousness and stop worrying about it, and pursue what I WANT TO PURSUE.

It's always money. Money to go to school, money for the piano, money for lessons, etc. etc. It's all my dad cares about.

I want to be a classical pianist, but this isn't going to happen because I'm not good enough. Great, so what do I do now? I need money so that I can eat, but I don't want a worthless job.

I live in the Chicago area, if that makes any difference.

Life isn't meant to be this way. I struggle with chronic depression and anxiety and I'm sick of dealing with this stuff.

I'm a sharp kid and I learn quick. I know that pursuing real-estate investment as a career will take endless study, work, and perseverance. But I'm not going to settle for this 9 to 5 office job BS. I also can't make a career out of music because I'm not good enough.

So I don't know where to go from here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

-Colin

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  • Account Closed
    Tucson, AZ · Member since 2008 · 945 posts · 45 votes
    19y

    You could start here, read, read, read, study, learn.
    then branch out.

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  • Tom McGiveron
    Residential Real Estate Agent · Moriches, NY · Member since 2008 · 635 posts · 9 votes
    19y

    Colin,

    if you're struggling with depression and anxiety...it will be very difficult for you to focus on...anything. after awhile, even real estate investment studying will become laborious.

    you've got to work on you. you've got to work on your mind and what you allow it to focus on. the 9-5 "BS" allows you to experience life and grow. it allows you to work with other people and experience the behaviors and relationships between people, places and things.

    this may sound like a bunch of BS in and of itself, but it really isn't.

    LIFE IS WORK. living is not meant to be lived have an "easy street" or having things given to you. it is through the STRUGGLE that makes you feel A L I V E.

    even those on here that are "living it up"...defined as - passive [and portfolio] income coming in, in amounts that exceed a certain threshold that allows them to work ON their business, rather than IN their business...THUS allowing them the time to spend it [time] exactly as they see fit.

    being in control of TIME...and using it to do the things you want is a wonderful feeling....even if you're dirt poor. it all depends on what YOU want from life.

    my personal belief is that through HARD WORK, and loving the HARD WORK is what makes the "man" (not gender-specific). as long as the "work" is accepted by the person doing it, to be worth the sweat, blood and tears.

    i enjoy working 18 hour days. it doesn't matter if i'm working on my business or picking up groceries for my mother or shopping for things for my wife or helping a stranger in the street - FOR ME - it's about

    P R O D U C T I V I T Y

    depression is a matter of the mind. change what you do, how you do it, little things where you live...maybe switch the furniture around, do things differently than you normally do. CHANGE the brainwaves. use your body. make it do things it normally doesn't do...like get up and do some push ups, go for a walk or a brisk run.

    you MUST change your mind to expect good things to happen to you. i will say this...when you do this...and you actually start to see things change - the feeling is absolutely unbelievable.

    expect bad things to happen and see the negative in things - and that's what you'll get.

    expect good things to happen and YEARN for the challenges of the day...see them as OPPORTUNITIES TO EXCEL...and...my friend - life will be kick ***!

    use the internet to grow. go to a seminar. get a job that pays you some money and spend that money (or as much as you can) doing things that will enhance your mind. schedule your days to WORK. take control of your day and what you do physically and your mind has no choice but to follow.

    break out or accept depression and anxiety to rule the day...i say to hell with that!

    seriously...YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Colin White
    OP
    Member since 2008 · 5 posts · 0 votes
    19y

    I have a headache, and am twitching. I cannot convey to you the endless morass that sits in my mind and festers in my heart.

    I have heard everything you have said before. And look how far I've gotten. I'm still stuck in the same place, nothing new. There is the occasional day where I feel great, but otherwise, I am trampled underneath a stampede of hell.

    Life is work, as you say.

    It has been so ingrained in me to be the way that I am, that I know no different. How can I be expected to do something different than I know? It will come with experience.

    As of now, I hate my life and everyone involved in it.

    -Colin

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  • N/A N/A
    Member since 2008 · 141 posts · 1 vote
    19y

    colin,

    you sound unhappy, and from the sound of it, you just graduated high school. guess what. that's normal. i think you just need some perspective on life. i did. i joined the army, and have 14 years in so far. i'm sitting in iraq, which i volunteered for, waiting to go home and see my 6 month old son for the first time. sure, it sucks, but there's plenty of worse things out there. go spend a day at a military hospital in the burn ward looking at young men with multiple amputations. then look in the mirror, be glad for what you have, and go out and do something productive. whatever you have going on, it's manageable. maybe you need a little help from a psychiatrist to get you over the hump. if it's your parents that you feel are forcing you into things you don't want to do, move out and get a job. join the military. do something. stand on your own two feet as a man. best of luck in whatever you do. if you have any questions about the military, feel free to ask. but don't ask for sympathy -you can find it in the dictionary between sh*t and syphillis.

    -dean

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  • Steve Nicewarner
    Bellevue, WA · Member since 2008 · 156 posts · 57 votes
    19y

    Colin,

    Just because God din't give you the skills to play classical piano doesn't mean you can't work with what you love. You could, for example, go to school, get a business degree and become an agent for those pianists. Or you could get the training to run a concert hall for classical musicians. Perhaps you could learn how to build pianos, or be a composer.

    There are many ways to work with what you love. You just need to be creative about how you can do it.

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  • Ken Hicks
    Boonies, PA · Member since 2008 · 333 posts · 15 votes
    19y
    Originally posted by "drweltman":
    colin,

    you sound unhappy, and from the sound of it, you just graduated high school. guess what. that's normal. i think you just need some perspective on life. i did. i joined the army, and have 14 years in so far. i'm sitting in iraq, which i volunteered for, waiting to go home and see my 6 month old son for the first time. sure, it sucks, but there's plenty of worse things out there. go spend a day at a military hospital in the burn ward looking at young men with multiple amputations. then look in the mirror, be glad for what you have, and go out and do something productive. whatever you have going on, it's manageable. maybe you need a little help from a psychiatrist to get you over the hump. if it's your parents that you feel are forcing you into things you don't want to do, move out and get a job. join the military. do something. stand on your own two feet as a man. best of luck in whatever you do. if you have any questions about the military, feel free to ask. but don't ask for sympathy -you can find it in the dictionary between sh*t and syphillis.

    -dean

    That is how life is.

    I am 27 and I am not happy in the direction my life is going, and believe me I'm in a good situation financially it could be way worse. What I'm doing about it is making goals. It is up to me to change it. Your never happy the way things are going no matter what. You may say "yeah it's going good"but you want more and more. You can blame everyone, but it's the guy in the mirror thats to blame. Honestly I don't tell anyone what I'm doing. I buy properties and know one knows. If I had to do it all over again I would be a marine. I work with X Marines all the time. They have a positive attitude like you wouldn't believe. I get calls at 9PM telling me to be at this site at 5am. I am mad, I complain a lot. I get to work and my buddy the X Marine didn't like it either but guess what. He had this attitude to just go to the site and do it. He was mad but he didn't complain. I wish I was more like him. I surround myself with people that are like him. I'm an electrician. I work in 100+ and single digit temperatures. Do I like it? Yes. Do I want to do this when I'm 40 Heck NO. Just figure out what you want to do and don't look back.

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  • Tom McGiveron
    Residential Real Estate Agent · Moriches, NY · Member since 2008 · 635 posts · 9 votes
    19y

    awesome posts from everyone!

    Colin, you say you've "heard" all these things before...the question is

    are you listening?

    you're young. you've got a whole life ahead of you...but you've only really got ONE DAY. for real.

    depression (nonclinical) is a CHOICE. i'd say in 9 of 10 cases of any type of depression (besides mixed features - ie psychosis, personality disorder, etc) is CHOICE. you can choose to whine and feel sorry for yourself or just put one foot in front of the other and do what must be done in order to live a better life...on a daily basis. period. it's that simple. oh and it takes A TON OF DAILY PRACTICE. and yes, you'll still have bad days. that's life.

    and dean, thanks for putting it all on the line for US!

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  • Ken Hicks
    Boonies, PA · Member since 2008 · 333 posts · 15 votes
    19y

    Every one has Depression. A friend of mine that makes $300,000 a year, works at home (no overhead), has awesome cars, trucks, bikes, 4,500sqft home with 3 bay garage, always vacationing, partying and he was always depressed. I honestly wanted to just punch him in the mouth for acting like that. He was taken pills seeing DRs nothing helped. He met a girl and now he is broke......... Just kidding. He met a girl and now he is the happiest I have ever seen him. He acted like that for a year or better. Thank god that is over. I hope that girl does not leave him.

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  • MATT WARDEN
    Member since 2008 · 141 posts · 0 votes
    19y
    Originally posted by "noobdog1":
    depression (nonclinical) is a CHOICE.

    Rephrased, this basically says: depression (fake) is a CHOICE.

    All forms of depression are chemical, even if it is originally self-induced (if there even is such a thing). I should point out I studied Neuroscience and Psychopharmacology for four years.

    Originally posted by "noobdog1":
    i'd say in 9 of 10 cases of any type of depression (besides mixed features - ie psychosis, personality disorder, etc) is CHOICE.

    And I'd say 9 out of 10 statistics are pulled out of nowhere. Not to mention that personality disorder has absolutely nothing to do with depression.

    (Please pardon the brief digression, but I didn't feel like this misinformation was helpful to anyone, especially the OP.)

    Anyway, back to real estate investing...

    If you are suffering from depression and anxiety, this will be a tough business for you. I would say ABSOLUTELY stay away from landlording.

    If you want to flex your artistic muscle, I would suggest rehabbing. I think you may even get a nice psychological satisfaction from the improvements you are making to the properties.

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  • Anthony Sulecki
    Real Estate Investor · Millsboro, DE · Member since 2008 · 480 posts · 26 votes
    19y

    You are wayyy too young to be this hard on yourself. Wait until you are old and wrinkled, then do it. :D I sent you a pm. It has some info on a program for anxiety/depression/panic that you can do by yourself, at home. But, like everything else, you have to work it, and apply it.

    Good luck with everything, and read my pm.

    Once you feel good again, and the anxiety/depression starts to fade, everything else will begin to fall into place. If not, you won't much mind, and you'll move on without a problem.

    You have to take care of yourself first.

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  • Lynn Z
    Member since 2008 · 689 posts · 23 votes
    19y

    1) How old are you if you don't mind my asking (just to give us a snapshot)
    2) Are you a person of means? So that you could pursue something...or are you dependent on family.

    Perhaps we are taking your use of "depression" too literally. Could that be the case?

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  • Joshua D.Pro Member
    BiggerPockets Founder · HI · Member since 2008 · 16k+ posts · 5k+ votes
    19y

    Colin -
    Thanks for confiding in the members of our site as to your situation. I do, however have very serious concerns about some of your statements - I'd have to say I'm a bit worried about you. As you can see, the members here want to help you in your difficult time, but I think you may need to take care of some things before you worry about real estate. You have yourself to worry about first.

    Please take care of yourself and when you're ready to come back and talk about real estate, we'll be here to help you out! Meanwhile, please feel free to email or PM me if there is anything you'd like to talk about.

    All my best, :mrgreen:

    Podcast Guest on Show #100
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  • Colin White
    OP
    Member since 2008 · 5 posts · 0 votes
    19y

    Thank you all for your support.

    I go through episodes like this; sometimes I plunge into the depths of depression and other times I feel fine. The original post was just one of those days... I use writing as an outlet and it often comes out on a public forum like this.

    Thanks again,

    -Colin

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  • Lynn Z
    Member since 2008 · 689 posts · 23 votes
    19y

    Good luck Colin, and take care of yourself. People do care.

    0Reply
  • Mike Lindsey
    Member since 2008 · 38 posts · 0 votes
    19y

    Colin,

    Please don't think that you are the only person who goes through these things. I would say that everyone suffers some sort of deppression in his/her life at one point or points in time. But one thing you have to remember is that life was not made to be easy, but difficult. It is this that makes people stronger. I am 27 years old and have been on my own since I was 17. I have been homeless, broke, imprisoned, beaten by authority figures, and a number of other things when I was younger. I now have money in my bank accounts, insurance for everything I need, 2 jobs, a business plan and goals to meet my plan, and good family and friends. Success in life is never determined by where you stand or what others think about you; it's determined by yourself. In my mind I am not yet where I want to be in life, but I am happy from day to day working 18 hours daily because I know it is all for a purpose. I know I am creating money to help me buy the tools I need to succeed in the industry I want to be in. My point is this: If you do not have any goals then life will become very dreary and depressing. You have to know in your heart that everrything you are doing and going through is for a greater purpose and a means to an end. You have to set your goals extremely high, so that even if you don't meet them anything close to them is still an outstanding victory. And most of all you have to follow your own dreams and not listen to anybody else who doesn't fall in line with them. That means you have to do what you want to do in life and not what your parents want you to do. You have to tune out all the negative people who scoff at your high goals because you know what, you have to live your life. If you do these things and do whatever it takes to reach your goals then I promise you you will see what makes life so beautiful. As you can see there are plenty of people on here that will help you if you ask. But you will have to meet them halfway. What I would suggest doing is sitting down and making out a 5 year plan of where you want to be 5 years from now...Write down the steps you think you will need to attain these goals and then get started not tomorrow, but today. Goodluck bro, remember you still have a long life ahead of you, and you will make many mistakes along the way, learn from those mistakes, don't let them bring you down, get back up and press forward.

    Peace

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  • Gary Johnson
    Member since 2008 · 13 posts · 0 votes
    19y

    Colin,
    I am new to this great forum and I'm not sure you will even see this since the thread is a month or so old. I want you to know, however, that you are not alone. I have many of the same feelings as you. You are like me in that the thing that is your true passion is not something you're going to make a living at. My passion is drag racign. I live for it. And even though I'm not good enough (or rich enough) to do it full time, I know it is what I was put on this earth to do. So, what I've got to do is find a way to make enough money to live well and afford to persue my passion. I just parked my race car a few weeks ago for monetary reasons, and it hurts.
    What hurts a lot worse though, is going to work every day to an aggravating job working for an ungrateful boss who thinks he's the only one in the building who should prosper. I sell my yearly salary in tires about every 4 days. I answer one hundred and seventy five phone calls on a SLOW day and all I ever hear is how I'm not doing enough. I have days at that place where I literally wish I could just hold my breath until I was dead.
    But, I am NOT going to let that SOB win. They say the best revenge is living well. I want revenge big time. And I intend to get it. I hope the fine folks on here will give me some much needed advice along the way.
    Consider yourself lucky though. You are still very young. You've got plenty of time. I am 47 years old. Time is not on my side. But, I will never give up and neither should you. You may not become a "classical" piano player, but I bet you can find an outlet for your passion. You just need money....and time. Two things I think this business can give you, and hopefully me. Good luck and get to work! MJ

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  • Toby Munk
    Residential Real Estate Broker · Aspen, CO · Member since 2008 · 155 posts · 4 votes
    18y

    Colin,

    real estate is much more than a 9-5 job. More like a 6-9 job.

    Also the fact that you were almost good enough to become a pianist tells me you must be intellectually fit.

    In my opinion real estate investing or the job of a real estate agent is not very intellectually stimulating.

    I think having money is not the solve it all solution. If you want to have problems you will generate them even if you are a billionaire.

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  • Marvin Eason
    Real Estate Investor · Oceanside, CA · Member since 2008 · 38 posts · 0 votes
    18y
    Originally posted by "ColinW":
    I have a headache, and am twitching. I cannot convey to you the endless morass that sits in my mind and festers in my heart.

    I have heard everything you have said before. And look how far I've gotten. I'm still stuck in the same place, nothing new. There is the occasional day where I feel great, but otherwise, I am trampled underneath a stampede of hell.

    Life is work, as you say.

    It has been so ingrained in me to be the way that I am, that I know no different. How can I be expected to do something different than I know? It will come with experience.

    As of now, I hate my life and everyone involved in it.

    -Colin

    You are young, I was the EXACT same way, with the EXACT same thoughts 12 years ago, with the same ambition! To not deal with the 9 to 5 bs, and here I am just turning 30 this year and a lot closer to that dream, but the difference is, my mind has had time to grow, cultivate and experience more.

    That within itself has shown that this 9 to 5 isn't as bad as I thought it was in my youth and that you need it to sustain you until you reach that point of leaving it.

    Be patient, think outside the box and take calculated risks in your decisions over the next 10 years and these thoughts and depression will seem like child's play compared to the happiness you will reap from doing so.

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