Had a guy move in Sunday night to one of my STRs.  He called me the next day to complain about 3 things.  

1. He locked one of the bedroom doors and didn't know how to unlock it from the outside.

2. He wanted a better curtain over a sliding glass door.

3. Finally he said this is his biggest gripe about the place.  He said it was too quiet and he couldn't get to sleep.  He wanted a box fan or some other noise producing device.

The place is too quiet.  I've never had a complaint like that before.  What's your lamest complaint?