Existential questions for the previous renters of my new property

[Genny Li]

I bought a condo that's been a student rental for 23 years.  It was actually what I would call "student clean" when I got it, so it only took an hour of vacuuming per room to get it to the point where the carpets could be shampoo'd, etc.  The sinks and counters and even fridge and oven were actually truly clean!  

But I do have some questions for the 23 years of students who came before...

1. Why take the the strike plate off the doorframe? The door closes and latches fine.  What did you do with it?

2. How did you get pubes on the bathroom CEILING that I had to pick off to repaint? HOW?

3. How could any human being get an exhaust vent *that* dirty?

4. Who told you that the proper way to spackle a tiny nail hole is to put a big 2x2" lump of drywall mud on it?

5. How many fairy lights have been put up? And why couldn't you just use the previous pushpin holes for your own?

6. What did you do with the switch plate covers that you lost? Why did you take them off in the first place?  How did you lose screws so that you stole screws from other switch plate covers to fill them in on the missing ones?

7. This one is for the previous owners....  Did you know that wall paint is supposed to go on the *wall* and not on the outlet covers/outlets/wall vents?  I know the previous owners didn't lose the switch plate covers because they didn't remove them whenever they repainted!

Anyway, I just did a full repaint of the ceiling and baseboards for the first time since construction, as well as taking the walls from mid-aughts-earthtone brown to Navajo White (I'm skipping the greige/gray and going to a more classic neutral because the gray is definitely on the way out by now) and fixed all the little things that were off.  Renters in it two weeks after closing, so I'm happy!

The kitchen is new, the bathrooms old but have recently refinished shower surrounds, but the golden oak cabinets in the bathrooms need painting and the 90s toilets that clog like crazy need replacing and the counters, sinks, and rusty vanity lights need replacing, too.  That will happen over time, however. :)