Would you renew a lease on a disrespectful tenant?
Realtor · Charleston, SC · Member since 2017 · 116 posts · 88 votes
She has been there a year and a half and on multiple occasions has been demanding and rude to me. She’s also a former lawyer for the FBI. She is very demanding, and kind of high-maintenance.
But she always pays her rent on time.
Her lease is up at the end of January, but she asked for a six month extension option when we signed it. She wants to stay, and wants another year lease, and wants me to sign it now. I’ve told her we will keep the terms as-is for the next six months, then revisit. She’s again asking me to sign the lease for the end of the six months now. Her last landlord sold the house and she had to move when she didn’t want to, so she is probably afraid I might do the same.
Would you tell her you are waiting to see if she can be more respectful in her communications before you sign the lease? Because that’s the only reason I want to wait. I’m not sure turning over the place is worth it either, but I don’t like the intimidation and threats I get from her.
She has been there a year and a half and on multiple occasions has been demanding and rude to me. She’s also a former lawyer for the FBI. She is very demanding, and kind of high-maintenance.
But she always pays her rent on time.
Her lease is up at the end of January, but she asked for a six month extension option when we signed it. She wants to stay, and wants another year lease, and wants me to sign it now. I’ve told her we will keep the terms as-is for the next six months, then revisit. She’s again asking me to sign the lease for the end of the six months now. Her last landlord sold the house and she had to move when she didn’t want to, so she is probably afraid I might do the same.
Would you tell her you are waiting to see if she can be more respectful in her communications before you sign the lease? Because that’s the only reason I want to wait. I’m not sure turning over the place is worth it either, but I don’t like the intimidation and threats I get from her.
You need to cut out all of this additional & unnecessary communication. Tenants are not your friends nor do you need to engage with them when they reach out to you for things that are not absolutely necessary. Here is the deal, no matter what you do they will not like you. You've got to accept that fact moving forward.
I am gathering that she has your cell number & feels like she can call you whenever she feels like B*tching about something? She feels that way because you answer the phone & try to work through everything with her Cut that out. Give her one form of contact & one form only. I'd use email. From there ignore all other modes of communication & only respond when necessary. Your job is to respond to her when you are changing the terms of the lease, rent is late or you need to handle a repair. Other than that there is no reason you need to communicate with her. She doesn't know this because you've trained her to believe that she can communicate with you for other reasons. Train her to know that she cannot.
On top of eliminating unnecessary communication I wouldn't negotiate or argue when communicating about necessary things. I would tell her this.
"Your option is to sign a new lease for 12 months under these terms or move out. You've got until X date to figure out what you want to do. End of discussion."
Do not engage in any of the additional comments she has.
"but I want to do this because" or "but why" etc.
If she is unable to call you on the cell & you only respond with her options & avoid engaging in that nonsense she will learn it's a waste of her time & you'll have a more appropriate relationship with her.
@Sarah Pursell would prefer to invest your money or hers on your property. Your money or rude money. If you decide to keep the rude money, be very firm with her and let her know what you expect in your landlord-tenant relationship. Some people are just natural push overs.
I suggest you be honest with her about what you don't like about her. Tell her the truth, do it respectfully and tactfully. Set boundaries, I guess you could say. And tell her you are going to wait 3-4 months before you are willing to discuss a lease renewal. You already feel her fear about losing the place and having to move, so she is unlikely to walk at the end of the month.
Sarah,
There's a difference between disrespectful/demanding/rude and intimidation/threats. Which is it? If it's the former, try to understand that the FBI is a very hard place for women. A friend of mine is an agent in DC and she's treated like crap by male coworkers. That may have rubbed off. If it's the latter, end the lease.
That’s exactly what I did, and she responded beautifully. I was respectful and tactful, but I set the boundary that I was not willing to sign anything at this time, but would be waiting out the remainder of her lease to see if her communication improvises before I sign anything. I’m hopeful she will stop.
She does do cloaked threats/intimidation. Lots of mention of health hazards and safety hazards whenever she wants something changed that doesn’t necessarily need to be fixed. She hasn’t directly threatened me, but intimidated me into doing things where I was afraid of a lawsuit if I didn’t. I felt trapped. Definitely have learned a lot through my dealings with her!
@Sarah Young My earlier comment only applied to rude behavior. For either direct or veiled threats I have a zero tolerance policy. Out they go. If they are month to month, the first time I hear a threat I go home and write up a thirty day non-renewal notice and send it out. Life is too short. Nope-- don't play that game. Where we are we don't even have to give a reason and I don't. She'll figure it out.
She does do cloaked threats/intimidation. Lots of mention of health hazards and safety hazards whenever she wants something changed that doesn’t necessarily need to be fixed. She hasn’t directly threatened me, but intimidated me into doing things where I was afraid of a lawsuit if I didn’t. I felt trapped. Definitely have learned a lot through my dealings with her!
That being the case, I'm on board now with non-renewal. I feel like every bad tenant thinks they are a lawyer. When we are moving towards litigation anyway (IE an eviction), I don't get flustered by it because I know we cross our Ts and dot our Is. BUT - I hate tenants trying to get repairs done under threat. Even if you are right, it will cost you money in legal fees to defend yourself in court, while it will cost her nothing but her own time. In this exact situation, I'd give her the boot. But make sure to not mention the reason (if you don't have to legally), as it could be construed as being "retaliatory" which is illegal in many jurisdictions.
She does do cloaked threats/intimidation. Lots of mention of health hazards and safety hazards whenever she wants something changed that doesn’t necessarily need to be fixed. She hasn’t directly threatened me, but intimidated me into doing things where I was afraid of a lawsuit if I didn’t. I felt trapped. Definitely have learned a lot through my dealings with her!
Yeah I don't put up with passive aggressive. Thank you, next.
Interesting thread. My quick reaction is that if it's just that her style is rude in the distinctive way lawyers can be rude (brusque, condescending) when you deal with her, that's an annoyance but not a major problem. If she pays her rent on time, then I'd embrace it as an opportunity to remind yourself that you alone determine your mental state. Her rudeness is about her, not you; don't let it get to you and you've freed yourself of the problem.
Now if it's not just about style but also substance--I.e., she's blowing up your phone with repeated trivial repair requests--that's a different story. But then the issue is not really rudeness but costs, and how the unnecessary repair requests eat away at your cash flow.
I also like the suggestion from some of the other posters that you could just outsource the tenant to a property manager. They'll bear the costs of dealing with her aggro style and you can just enjoy the cash flow from her regular rental payments.
@Sarah Young: Thanks for such a great question. I am weighing in with my experience from the Hospitality Industry as it deals tremendously with Customer engagement/interaction/conflict resolution. In my career as a hotelier, I've had to deal with my share of high-Maintenance, high-demanding customers that were rude so I fully understand your frustration. When I've dealt with people such as this, I've always had to take a step back and say, "Are they being unreasonable or do they have a point?" Sometimes, the answer was "no", especially if despite them being challenging, they were ultimately good customers for the business (they are return guests, pay on time, and demonstrate overall loyalty to my brand). In those circumstances, I've just had to have my team and I step up our game to meet the needs of the customer which in turn made us better hospitality professionals. It's also helpful to put yourself in the other person's shoes as in more times that not, there was usually an understandable story behind someone's high-maintenance attitude. In other circumstances, where customers were clearly unreasonable (demanding products/services not agreed to contractually; being defaming/threatening to my team; or doing something damaging to the property), I would have to stop doing business with them. As a Landlord, a lot of my customer service experience from the Hospitality field enters into my Rental Business. Although your current tenant is rude and high-demanding, is she breaking anything contractually within the Lease Agreement? Does she pay on time and can you count on her continually paying on time? In terms of her being high-maintenance, you must be doing something to her satisfaction if she wants to renew her lease with you. I would have to agree with many of our peers here on BP to raise her rent when you have the opportunity to do so. How much extra in rental income would it be worth it to keep her as a tenant? On the flip side, however, if she is paying more then she might also demand more....so you'll have to be prepared for that. I recommend waiting on the year lease and just communicate with her that you'll consider it (but no guarantees) when its get closer to the end of her six month lease. I'd even hint that you're not even sure if you'd keep it as a rental at the end of six months and need to keep your options open. Who knows...maybe she'll have a change of attitude. What I wouldn't do is tell her that she needs to be more respectful as that is subjective and with her being a former lawyer, can potentially backfire on you. Hope this helps and best of luck to you.
I had a similar situation to yours. She was just an unreasonable, unhappy person with anger management problems. For example, she angerly complained and hung up on me because I got an HVAC repair person to her home the next business day in the early evening. Instead of in the morning. And threatened to call the Housing Authority (she was a Section 8 tenant) because her a/c wasn't working. Like I'm supposed to have magical fairy dust to sprinkle on the unit and make it work as soon as she calls me. I am always calm and professional with my tenants. I explained she could certainly do what she wished, but having a repair person out by the next day was about as fast as one can get. What I really wanted to say (but didn't) in a snarky tone? "Good! Please DO call the Housing Authority. Tell them you contacted me about a needed repair. I replied back to you within the hour. And got a service person out the very next day. Definitely complain about all of that."
But, as much as I disliked her and disliked dealing with her. In the grand scheme of things, I put up with her disrespectful and entitled attitude because it was typically only a few times a year and S8 was paying all of her rent. But then her finances changed. She suddenly went from her portion being 0% to 75%. She always paid. But always paid very late and after my nagging her about it. Nope! Now she had firmly stepped over the line of "way more hassle than she was worth". At least for my taste. She was on a month-to-month at that point. My only regret is I didn't give her a 30-Day Notice to Vacate sooner than I did. And I still had to evict her when she didn't comply with it.
@Sarah Young I am not sure you have the right perspective. Her complaints are about legitimate issues.
Do you really think she flooded her own basement? Water entering basements either through the foundation, window wells or backing up the drain is very common, so I would guess one of those more likely.
The odor in the basement is likely mold or moisture related, so related to the water issue. You want to take care of mold because it is a health hazard.
As far as you saying "no issues until she discovered it was unsafe" on the wiring. If the wiring was a fire hazard, that is serious. The fact that it wasn't discovered, doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous.
It just sounds to me like her tone is more direct. How you interpret is your choice. My guess is you are not being direct or firm.
Nobody likes expenses in a rental property, but it is your job to fix problems. The worst thing is a tenant who reports nothing. Then a flooded basement turns into a mold nightmare. Maybe you would prefer that? Not sure.
You don’t have all the information, and jumped to a few conclusions.
The basement did flood. AND the water bill was 3x her normal average winter usage (this is her second winter). I do suspect something other than “snow melt coming in through the foundation” as she claims, when the basement has been dry for the last two weeks and we have never had one drop in there before. Somehow the water miraculously stopped coming in. Additionally, the wall where the water came in has a spigot on the outside of it. I suspect (because of the extremely high water bill) that someone turned on the spigot and it flooded the basement. But at some point, someone turned it off, and she is claiming no knowledge of that. There is something else going on.
The smell was not mold in the basement. It was sewer-ish smelling. We dealt with it when we lived in the house the year before, but thought we had fixed it properly. Apparently not. It has been fixed for over a year now, and is no longer an issue. Yes, it was a legitimate concern, but it wasn’t an emergency as nobody lives in the basement, and it could not be smelled in other parts of the house. It was a venting issue. She herself had not been able to find anyone to come deal with it for the two months she tried. To become demanding with me after I tried finding someone for two weeks, then telling me in needed to be fixed “immediately” and that she was “not interested in excuses, she just wants results” was disrespectful and ignoring the fact that getting a plumber to call back in that town isn’t almost impossible. I had it addressed in a much more timely manner than she was able to.
The wiring was not a fire hazard.
Of course I do not want mold in my basement. I took the flooded basement very seriously. I just spent $1,000 replacing the carpet that she told me must be replaced (because it would mold), only to find out after the fact that the carpet completely dried out within a couple days.
Please ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
I would personally start with a rent increase. If she complains or is rude, then opt to not renew her lease and go with a new tenant. Truth is there are plenty of people looking for a good place to rent. Hope that's helpful for now. If I can help in the future, feel free to connect with me.