Renting from out of state parents - illegal lease provisions?

Question

I live in San Diego. I'm 32 years old. My parents finally after 10 years of me suggesting, bought a house so I could rent directly from them. It's a four bedroom. They want $2400 in rent so obviously I wanted to have a room mate. Long story short, they didn't want to classify the house as a rental, never gave us leases (despite me begging)... the room mate's pets destroyed carpet and was a major pain to get rid of. Now that he's gone, they are willing to rent it to me but with a million rules.

They are preparing a lease but have it in their head that they will be coming down here every so often from Wisconsin & potentially bring a friend to stay... so out of the 4 bedrooms, they want access to two, and have a million rules that are rather ridiculous.

-no guests can bring their dogs over

-can't play music loud - even during normal hours

-access to my security cameras

-can't rent rooms anymore - not even Airbnb/short term

-still want me to pay over half the rent + utilities

...they're still putting it all together and are very vindictive and secretive. It's extremely uncomfortable living somewhere I feel like will be taken away at any given moment. Obviously, if I had the credit to rent elsewhere, I absolutely would, however that isn't the case so I am somewhat stuck here at the moment.

What is illegal for them to ask of me?

I know they are my parents but cmon, some of these things are absolutely absurd...

Anthony Gayden · Answer

@Lindsay Henning

Is this serious? Your parents bought a house for you to live in San Diego (inexpensive houses there are over $400,000) and you are mad that they have rules?

Your roommate's pets trashed the place and that probably was paid for by your parents. Your parents are probably giving you below market rent. The whole thing is probably costing them money, but they did it anyway to help you out.......and you complain.

If you don't like it, I suggest you move on to a place not owned by your parents. Reality will hit you though when you find out you are paying more money for less, and there are even more rules.

Karen F. · Answer

If I had a tenant with your attitude, I'd give them a notice of termination immediately.

You're not an arm's length tenant.  You're an adult child living at your parents' second home, which they only bought to help you out, and you are paying them subsidized rent for the use of one or two rooms.   Your situation is like that of a young adult still living at home - follow your parents' rules, or move out.

You say you can't move out?  Then follow their rules, and stay.  And you might just try being a little bit grateful to them for providing you with a place to live.  They didn't buy this property because they wanted an investment property in San Diego.  They bought it to help out their adult child, who is unable to live independently.

Legally, you can violate the terms of the lease, stop paying rent, ignore their rules, trash the place, do whatever you want.  And legally, they can evict you, and then take you to court to get a judgement against you for the damages, or even bring criminal charges against you for malicious vandalism.   Do you really want to push them to do that?  Your parents who care about you enough that they bought a second home they really didn't need, just to try to help you out?

Grow up!

Deanna McCormick · Answer

Your choice is to comply or go live somewhere else. They can choose whatever they want for lease terms, you can choose to accept or decline.

Sounds more like a spoiled child issue... not like an adult... I don't envy your parents

Dale Walker · Answer

@Lindsay Henning

People rent out rooms all the time. Think of it as if your parents own the place and are renting you a room and you can use the common areas. Your parents are your roommates, they can come and go as they wish and use the home. They should respect the one room you are renting and you should have privacy there. (you should have this in a lease).The rules they have for you should be in the lease. The issues you suggested above are very common and there are always expectations for the renter and lessor.  If you don't like the rules, don't live there. Landlords cannot discriminate against specific groups of people. We cannot say in our leases that no white skinned people or black skinned people etc. We can say no drug use or smoking or drinking on the property. Drug users are not a protected class. We can restrict who enters the property. I have a clause in each of my leases that my tenants are allowed to have guests but they cannot be at the premises for more than a specific amount of time.  A landlord could have the rule of NO guests. They can put cameras on the property. They can have noise rules. They can enter the premises with proper notice and inspect. They can charge fines when a tenant doesn't comply with the rules. They can charge you for the damage which your roommate caused if you chose the roommate.  They can charge you for the full amount of rent if your roommate doesn't come up with their share.  They can say NO Pets! even pets from your guests.

I can appreciate parents who want to help their kid and give them an advantage.  It sounds like you need to be independent (financially speaking) from your parents.  If your parents are trying to "help" you by financially giving you a break and have conditions to encourage you to make more responsible choices then that is their choice.

You are an adult and can make your own choices.  Like these others, I have little compassion as you need to pay your own bills, accept responsibility for your own choices, and not have this victim mentality. A victim mentality often shows that you will blame others for your choices. It sounds as if you want the freedom but not the responsibility. Those two ideals are directly tied together. I have been a landlord for years and get rid of tenants who feel entitled to other peoples charity.

It would be best for you to find a new place, get your credit repaired, save up and rent with a different landlord. That may mean you move to an area which you may not like and pay more in rent. Greg is right, there are mom and pop landlords which will rent to low credit people but it may not be in a preferred area/home. Once you establish a good renting history and complete a year lease, ask for a reference from the landlord and use it find a better place and area. Parents do not count when I ask prospective tenants about their renting history.   Cut the financial ties to your parents if you want more freedoms. Most of all be GRATEFUL that they are trying to help you and teach you responsibility.

Thomas S. · Answer

You are in a difficult situation but as you state you have been living on your own for a long time. To get free you really need to put on the big girl pants, don't make any excuses and find a place to live. There are people out there with criminal records, no credit, evictions, you name it and they all find places to live.

Sorry, no compassion here since I believe you can do better but it involves a commitment to stop relying on parents, you are not a child any longer and you know if you want to can do it. No excuses.

Thomas S. · Answer

Bad credit need not be a road block for you. It is not necessarily a obstacle as there are many landlords that will rent to any one and never bother to screen. Find a mom and pop with a basement suite for rent and the likely hood is you will get in.

Rather than tolerate your parents find the solution.

Dan H. · Answer

@Lindsay Henning

I have a Dad that is only content if he is complaining about something.  To make it a bit more aggravating he is such a brown nose to people who he is not close to but complains about anything to those he is close to.  Even though my brothers take the brunt of the criticism, I get where you are coming from.

However, I do not rent from him.  If I did I would be having an additional relationship that he would have an interest in and I am sure would find things to complain about.

Also your claim that $1200 is greater than market for 2 rooms in a 4 BR house in San Diego with the other two BRs are empty is not true.  Your rent is significantly below market.  If that was not the case you would be finding a different place to rent.

Also the stock market has done exceptional in recent times and most indexes are at or near all time highs.  It would be very difficult for your parents to have lost money in the stock market in recent times.

As I indicated their rules are not extremely out of expectations.  I also suspect that none of their rules are illegal as long as the cameras are of public areas (i.e. outside).  I think you are bothered because 1) they seem to be like my father and like to complain 2) it gives them additional relationship with things to complain about and additional control.

I realize it may not be easy but I side with the majority of posts that if you do not like it then rent someplace else.  If this is the best all around rental opportunity for you then live with their rules.  Once their rules bother you enough you will chose to live somewhere else.

Good luck

Deanna McCormick · Answer

Yup, They as property owners can make the terms of the lease as to what ever they choose. month 2 month term, 12 month term,rent amount, utility cost , number of occupants, crime free/ drug free. No smoking, No Alcohol, No pets, They can set the rules.

They would need to follow the law, but they could set a rental criteria, make you submit an application, 1. make you income qualify, like 3 times the rent 2. Credit score qualify like nothing under 650 rating. just to name a few.

To set a criteria, is not discrimination, or racism as long as all applicants are given the same criteria for an application.

So fill out an application for your parents. see if you qualify...

You'd be required to do that at most other places you'd want to live. What would you qualify for ??

You could look up landlord tenant laws for State of California.. you can google that...

Carl C. · Answer

It sounds like you need to move out. You're better off not mixing business and pleasure (ask how many of us would rent to family members) anyway. Your parents have set some tough rules hat you seem particularly bothered by. A traditional landlord might set similarly tough rules in a lease but you'd probably be less upset about it because they aren't family. I would do whatever you can to find a place that you can afford on your own. You will never be happy living in your parent's house.

Lindsay Henning · Answer

its truly harder than it seems. i agree, and have tried since i was 17 to just rent  my own place.... i consider myself pretty resourceful in a lot of ways, this is the only thing i havent been able to lock down.

Renting from out of state parents - illegal lease provisions?

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