Lifestyle inflation vs. reasonable standard of living increase?

[Ericka G.]

I’ve been frugal my whole life. My family jokes that my older brother started borrowing money from me when I was six (he was 16) because I always had $ stacked. But now I’m reaching a point where I want to splurge a little.

For those who live frugally - at what point, if ever, did you start enjoying more of the fruits of your labor? Where is the line between lifestyle inflation and just growing up/evolving?

Background for the question: My husband and I live way below our means. We moved into one of our rentals and though we combined will make over $300k (w2 and rentals) in 2018, our current mortgage payment is <$800/mos. We are in an excellent location but are outgrowing our townhouse. It’s old and doesn’t have an attached garage. We can’t afford to buy a house in this area and it is inconvenient for our jobs and other rentals.

We recently found an amazing house that costs ~$450k...,it’s a 1 acre+ “estate” with a circle drive, private entry gate, the whole nine - it basically has everything we want in a dream house after a few cosmetic updates. the location is better for work commute and rentals, but the surrounding area is less posh and we cant walk to restaurants and bars like our current location. It’s more of an up and coming inner ring burb, tho still technically in the city. This same house would cost $2-4million in our current hood. What do you think?

The frugalista in me hates the idea of doubling our monthly expenses but doing the math we can afford this, even if we both got laid off. Curious to see if anyone else has wrestled with life upgrades and if there is a rule of thumb for making decisions like this?

[Mike Dymski]

Congratulations on the W-2 and real estate success and your savings rate.  You are asking an important question.

I recommend sitting down with your husband and writing down your goals.  And then, align your daily decisions with them.  If your location, or financial freedom, or the dream house, or anything else are at the top of the list, you have clarity on how to decide.  You also won't feel like you are sacrificing the other things because you know (1) what's most important to you in life and (2) what matters less.  There is no sacrifice in doing #1 and not #2...the sacrifice comes when you do the opposite.

We often talk about wanting more time with friends and family, or being more healthy, or more charitable, or having financial freedom, or whatever we say we want and then we make daily decisions that are completely disconnected from these goals.  Success in life comes from making daily decisions that align with what's most important to you.