How to vet private lenders? They creep me out

[Constance Chambers]

We’ve made over 10 offers on sound deals meeting our criteria, only to get beat out by “cash offers” so I’m considering private $ lenders & have been contacted by a few...but I get totally on the defensive every time & it feels like working w a used car salesmen. They’re not interested in “my story “ just throwing numbers & I have a really good aw-2 job w my husband., how do I accurately vet these “lenders”?? I could still just use a bank locally, but I’m trying to avoid the 20% down scenario