Advice on Duplex for house hacking

[Alejandra Yepes]

Hi Friends, I need some advice on Real Estate.
Since almost a year ago, I have been reading books, listening to the bigger pockets podcast, but I didn't take action at all.

In recent weeks, I realized that it might never happen if I don't take action and make it work.

My plan is to do house hacking, to buy a duplex, live in one unit and rent the other one (PA).

I don't have the 20% down payment.

It would be a FHA loan, 3.5% down payment on a duplex around 140-160K.

My ideal mortgage payments would be 1000.

My mortgage broker came back and said, that if I want payments of 1000 I should look a duplex around 120-130k. That is slightly less of the ones I had seen on the MLS (trulia).

He also said that the closing costs including the 3.5% down, it would be around 10-12K.

I currently have 9k that I could use and 12k in my 401k.

I would rather not to touch my 401K, but if it happens, I would take a loan of 2 or 3k and I think I could pay it back in 1 to 3 months. Just if I need to, although my expectation was to try to use seller concessions.

As you can see I am very tied up with the money, and don't really know if I could make this work. I'm actually a little bit afraid to screw up.

Rents in the area where I would buy are around 800-1000. (That is the reason I wanted the payment to be 1000).
I currently pay rent 1100. (in NJ) 

I don't have any debt, my credit score is great, and I'm doing all of this just with my income (I'm not counting household income), since my husband is not on board and he will never be totally on board for many things. It is just the way some people are I guess, however I just can't stop moving just because my SO don't want to move (please keep the advice just in the RE part, not in the relationship part).

I wouldn't have money for vacancies, but considering that would be pretty much what I currently pay for rent, I don't know if give it so much weight for making a decision.

My biggest concern is that I wouldn't have an emergency fund for anything. It would be ZERO, and if my car breaks, a relative dies and I have to travel to my homecountry, there is something wrong with the duplex that I buy or something worse happens I would have to use my credit cards. (I don't have debts)

Anyways, I need an outsider opinion, if this could work or if I'm just delusional and no properly doing a risk management assessment.