THE SPEED OF TRUST: PARTNERING WITH YOUR LIFE PARTNER

[Courtney Rollins]

Stephen M.R. Covey, highly sought after and successful speaker, author, and advisor on trust, leadership, and ethics, as well as son of Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, believes change and efficiency in organizations happens at the speed of trust. When there is a high level of trust in organizations important decisions can be made and implemented at fairly rapid speed because members of the organization trust themselves, trust other decision makers and trust the decision making process. He believes trust can be developed by focusing on what he defines as the four key components of trust: integrity, intent ( = character), capabilities, & results ( = competence).

As a new real estate investor, I have found my first business partner to be an amazing person. Our diverse styles and approaches complement each other. Where I have the tendency to take a built for speed, big vision-casting, build the plane as we fly approach, and am highly energetic and relational, she is able to identify contingencies, execute details, and can easily be stern/disciplined with people as needed. She is the yin to my yang and also is absolutely gorgeous! By the way, she is also my fiancée.

We are actively seeking our first buy and hold investment property in Baltimore, MD. As you know speed is crucial to acquiring solid deals. However, we have time restrictions for viewing leads due to our jobs. She is only able to view properties after 6pm during the week! My schedule is a bit more flexible, however she insist that she be at the walk thru's. I can understand her desire to be involved each step given that REI is no small matter and the fact that we are unproven entities at this time. But, we are afraid that we are missing opportunities to submit timely offers.

Although we both are excited about the world of REI (actually, she was the first to mention REI as a possibility), at the end of last year the bug bit me pretty hard. Since then, I have immersed myself into REI communities, literature, classes, and other resources. She is every bit as game and excited to invest, however I believe my enthusiasm and knowledge dumps can be overwhelming for her at times. I imagine I sound about as obnoxious as college student taking their first sociology or philosophy course misquoting Nietzsche at every turn when I expound on new information I've recently learned about.

Covey’s The Speed of Trust resonates. I believe that as we acquire experience, more clearly identify systems, roles, and processes, and establish a track record that we would be able to trust ourselves and each other more and move more efficiently. Here are a few tips I have acquired from others regarding working with your business partner that is also your life partner:

1. WORK STYLE INVENTORIES- Take work and personality profile inventory surveys to help identify the ways we are geared to communicate and work. This will help us understand ourselves, each other, and will help us leverage the way we work effectively together. The DISC Profile and Styles of Inventory are two popular and well vetted resources.
2. KISS (KEEP IT SIMPLE, SHORTY)- When discussing REI strategies we should be sure to keep it simple. If She or I are able to explain a REI strategy in simple terms, this probably means we understand it. The information should be shared in manageable increments of time and content. For example, agreeing to listen to episodes of the BiggerPockets podcast during work commute helps us establish shared knowledge in way that isn't too overpowering. Keeping it simple also means that there is no need for me to try and impress her or myself with fancy strategies--especially since we have not field tested any of it. I believe talking jargon that I barely understand would only serve to stroke a small ego and give me a false sense that I am accomplishing something. Which leads me to the next tip. (oh by the way, I've found that old school "kissing” is a good tip for us, too!  )
3. BE HUMBLE- Kendrick Lamar said it best. I need to practice a healthy ego and recognize that no amount of book knowledge can equal actual experience. We both have so much to learn and remaining hungry and humble will help us incorporate feedback and be willing to listen to each other for advice. Reminds me of a line from Rudyard Kipling’s If, “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting, too.” As we grow, our confidence will also grow. I’m sure we will remain humble as well and be ready and willing to continue to learn. @Ned Carey often states that three things are required to be successful in REI- 1) knowledge of REI strategies, 2) ability to properly analyze deals, and 3) understanding your specific market. Each of these components require humility and the ability and willingness to constantly learn new things.
4. WHAT’S, WHY’S, HOW’S ALIGN- Although we are a two person company at this time, we still hold weekly meetings. During these meetings we remind ourselves of our mission, review our goals, and check in on our processes we have in place to accomplish the goals. This helps us provide a bit of focus and path. As newbies, it is a challenge discerning what are shiny objects that can serve as distractions as oppose to new information that will serve our benefit.
5. TRUST THE PROCESS- Joel Embiid and the 76ers are on to something with their motto “Trust the Process.” Although, we are not moving fast as we may want to at this time, we must have faith in our what’s, why’s, and how’s. This includes trusting that as we grow our processes will become more specialized and we will be able to trust the roles we play in the acquisition, management, and disposition of our real estate assets.

I appreciate you for taking the time to read! Simply jotting down my thoughts has been very helpful. I would love to hear any other tips folks may have for partnering with your life partner. It’s an amazing and fulfilling, albeit arduous journey thus far! Cheers to everyone!