House Hack Dilemma

[Keith John]

I am a newbie investor, learning all that I can from investors like you through Bigger Pockets, so thank you. I heard about the house hacking concept through a podcast on BP which explained the concept of purchasing a duplex, living in one side and renting out the other. It's genius and I want to try it! 

After researching numerous properties, I found one with each unit having the same finished square footage as our current home, because I know my wife wouldn't be interested in downsizing. After running the numbers on the BP calculator, I knew it would save us $1,500 a month to make this move. I prepared a great slideshow (geek) on PowerPoint, detailing our current situation, and laying out the potential savings of the hack. 

I presented it to my wife after she got home from work. She watched intently as I explained each number and how I had come up with them. After the show was over, I asked for her feedback...there were tears forming in her eyes. She broke down and cried. Come to find out, she has become emotionally attached to our current home of 6 years. She explained that we were just getting to the point where the house was the way we wanted it. 

We had put a great deal of time, money and energy into installing hardwood floors, ceramic tile, built-in cabinets by the fireplace and a kitchen remodel that took 3 months to complete. The backyard was shaping up and was now a place we could relax in on the weekends. She makes a valid point, but....

We both want to get started investing in real estate, and although we have money, we need to save more before buying rental properties. The house hack would allow us to live in a house while the tenant pays the mortgage, which gives us the ability to save a great deal more. In turn, this will enable us to purchase our next property even faster, and increases our income, due to the unit next door being rented out. Our current house only costs us. 

Has anyone else hit the brick wall when trying to convince their spouse to buy into this concept? How did you overcome it or did you take an entirely different path altogether? If you took a different path, please share what that path was. Thank you!

[Edward B.]

Happy wife = happy life.

I seriously would just find a different way to invest in real estate. There are plenty out there and any of them will be better with the support of your lifelong partner in crime. Even if you manage to convince her this is the right move there will be ZERO room for error. Anything and everything that goes even slightly askew will be because you made her move from her dream house (even if it isn't really her dream house, it will be when the attacks begin). The stress on your relationship is so not worth it and would likely undermine your investing anyway.

Pick and choose your battles. You could win this battle and lose the war if you aren't careful. I have always bought real estate as an investment, even the homes I lived in. My wife keeps talking about our "forever home", though, which makes absolutely no sense to me financially, but I guarantee you she will get it and I will make it happen. Even if it puts a damper on my investing.

Remember it is all about finding a solution where everyone wins and based on the reaction you described, there is no situation right now where she will consider moving from that house a win. Find a different solution, they are out there. Maybe not as ideal as house hacking, but still good, and all that much better when you come home to a happy, loving, supportive wife.

Ed