Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
Hello everyone,
I had some questions about networking at REIA meetings. I've been to five of my local REIA meetings since last Fall and I have yet to meet anyone who is willing to give me the time of day besides other new investors. At least once at each meeting, I will be talking to someone and within the first sixty seconds of introducing myself, they will excuse themselves and start talking to others. One hard money lender I was talking to literally turned his back on me, mid-sentence, and walked away.
I find that this usually happens after I tell them I'm new to investing, or when they learn I have nothing to offer them besides good conversation.
Am I missing something here?
Are networking events all business, all work and no play? Should I avoid any non-investing related topics?
Is this "speed-dating" approach to networking how it is normally or am I just completely oblivious to how networking events work?
What does a new investor have to offer an experienced one? And how can I quickly communicate that to these good folks before the bell rings and they move on to the next "date"?
New investors are better to network with than more seasoned investors because new investors are hungry for deals..
I would have to disagree with this. While new investors are hungry for deals, I could place a deal right on their plate and they would not know how to pick up the fork and knife to eat it! The experienced investors have both the knowledge and experience, both of which is what the newbie investor seeks and can not find that from another newbie, therefore, you are left needing the experienced one.
To the OG poster, I understand your dilemma and frustration, I was once in your shoes. What I can tell you is, as much as I wished I was the guy on stage, I now know that is not the guy I am or want to be. That said, I am now the guy on stage, only I do it without the pitch of run to the back of the room with credit card in hand.
I attend RE meetings regularly and did so when I started out. It was a tough go at first with lots of frustration, lots of being ignored, and lots of disappointments. What I did have was drive and determination to succeed and so I never gave up. I kept at it and made my face present as much as possible. Over time, I met more and more people and learned more and more as I went along. While at these meetings today, I get all kinds of people (almost always newbies) coming up to me and the first thing out of most of their mouths is a question for me to answer. I am too nice to ignore them and turn my back and I answer if I can. After all, I know what it is like to be in their shoes. While my time is valuable, I do dedicate some of it to helping others, that is widely evident here on BP with over 11,000 posts and years of steady active membership.
I would change your approach next time. The first words out of your mouth in your introduction should not be a question about how to do something and should not be a "high, I'm a newbie". While I do not recommend you lie, your newbieness (hey, I just invented a new word) will be evident in how you talk if you are speaking to an experienced investor so no need to point that out in your first sentence.
YOU - Hey Will, I'm __________, this is my first (or second or however many times it is) time to this meeting, do you come here often? WILL - Yes, I am a member here and attend most months. YOU - That's great, I would then assume this is a good club to be a member of for serious investors? WILL - You bet. YOU - So what strategies in RE are you currently working on Will?
Lead the conversation about them and what they are doing, just general chat to create the relationship. Ask about their needs and what they are looking for, perhaps they are looking for another deal, or to fund a deal, a new contractor or sub, or whatever. Exchange business cards and at the NEXT meeting, then say hi again and perhaps ask a burning question you can not get answered on BP. In your initial conversation, perhaps you found out that the investor was looking for a new tenant, or perhaps needed something, regardless if it was RE related and perhaps you can help with it. if so, use that as an entry of trading something to them for their time for you. I get asked all the time if somebody could shadow me or be of any free assistance to me in the hopes of learning along the way. I have to turn them down on these requests as I just don't have the time to do these things for them. My time giving is here on BP and at the meetings themselves. I also get asked if they can take me to lunch all the time. Again, I don't have that kind of time, half the time I don't have time to eat at all anyways. Point is, be as respectful of their time as possible and be very careful on your approach next time. Whatever you have been saying so far has obviously not worked so try another approach and keep at it! Hope this has helped.
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Account Closed It definitely feels that way sometimes. The new investors I meet are great, but I'm looking for more experienced investors that I can add to the team. I will continue networking with the great folks here on BP and reach out those local to me. That way, I'll at least know that we're somewhat on the same page
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Account Closed I agree. I certainly don't blame more experienced investors for feeling that way. Their time is valuable, as is mine and I respect that. If finding other open-minded investors is anything like marketing for leads, then it's looking like a numbers game as well.
For every one hundred or so investors, one's gotta be motivated to give a new guy a break!
If all else fails, I'll just put out some bandit signs looking for investors that are interested in a free coffee or lunch haha.
Rehabber · Smyrna, GA · Member since 2013 · 864 posts · 510 votes
12y
I've probably only been to 3 REIA meetings since I started 14 years ago. They are basically full of people who will never buy a house and people pitching products in my limited experience.
There's not much incentive for guys doing deals to show up at the main meetings unless the speaker is really good. The sub groups are where the action is here in Atlanta.
REIA's have their place- I'm a fan of doing lots of training and thats where you find it. You don't have to pay for it these days, the info is way more available for free now than when I shelled out my coin (and the cost of the seminars reflect that) but the connections and support I got helped me push forward and realize what can be done when I was getting started so if you can afford it, I still say do the class time.
Either way, as much fun as it is helping the newbies, there is only so much of you to go around and a LOT of people who watch flip this house and think "Ill do that" show up at REIAs.
If I were starting out and wanted to network Id look for the deal swap type of meetings. I'd also check the ads and find the real players and see if they'd let you do some ridealongs. It actually gets kinda lonely sometimes spending that much time by yourself driving around so much. I take my dawg with me everywhere I go in the winter. If I could find a way to run A/C in the summer off batteries that's be year round. I'd welcome some company here and there.
Offer to buy lunch or do some work in return. Most investors love talking/bragging about what they do, but at a REIA they know 90% of the 30 people trying to get their attention aren't ever going to do anything with what they tell them.
Go to the foreclosure and tax deed sale and strike up convos with people buying.
Better yet, go find a (real) wholesale deal and shop it to investors, then you'll get somewhere.
I goofed off last year, but am absolutely slammed right now. If someone wants my time Im gonna ignore them unless Im getting something out of it simply because I don't have much time to give. Pretty sure that situation is not unique to me...
Wholesaler · Lenoir, NC · Member since 2013 · 297 posts · 127 votes
12y
@Account Closed and @Account Closed if you have not had the chance to listen to the newest podcast #52 then you should. It helps to give pointers on going to these meetings and being new to them. Ken describes how you should offer to help them even if you think that you might not have anything to offer them. That way it does not look like you are just looking for help. These type of people that you are running into at these meetings are ones that will even tall run out of people to network with because of they way they treat people that are on there way up. There is a old saying and it goes that the people that you pass on the way up are the same people that you pass on the way down. Whatever you don't give up the majority of investors are not like that. If there is anything I can help you don't hesitate to ask.
SFR Investor · Lakewood, CA · Member since 2013 · 66 posts · 16 votes
12y
Hi Son. I feel that the club meetings reflect the RE industry. You have to keep in mind, it's a relationship business. Just keep plugging away & maintain your posture. By that, try not to keep mental tabs or records on those who turn their backs on you. You will have your turn.
- john
Investor · Naples, FL · Member since 2012 · 2 posts · 0 votes
12y
You're right... There's a fine line at some of these networking events, they can be cliquish.
Soak up the education, REIA's deliver a lot of good training, chow down a few meals....
New investors are better to network with than more seasoned investors because new investors are hungry for deals. Develop your own team of newbies willing to work and grow together.
Don't get offended by some "hard money lender" because hard money lenders aren't worth it... When you have a good deal the money isn't a problem.
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Darrell Shepherd I agree. Most questions I have, the common answer found on BP seems to be "network at your local REIA," so I think I may have been expecting too much from these meetings. I'm not knocking them, I agree with you that they have their place.
@David Lee Haven't checked the new podcast yet, I'll get on that ASAP. And thank you for the kind words.
@John Malahay I will focus on building positive relationships, thank you.
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Steve Babiak Figured as much. I also found that members of the large REIA were members of smaller, more progressive REIA groups. Perhaps one of those groups would be a better fit, thank you. Also, your guide on building a buyers list is amazing! I have it bookmarked and refer to it frequently.
@Chris H. I love meeting and networking with new investors. Some of them even look to me for answers! I help with what I can, but for everything else, I direct them straight to BP. Thanks
New investors are better to network with than more seasoned investors because new investors are hungry for deals..
I would have to disagree with this. While new investors are hungry for deals, I could place a deal right on their plate and they would not know how to pick up the fork and knife to eat it! The experienced investors have both the knowledge and experience, both of which is what the newbie investor seeks and can not find that from another newbie, therefore, you are left needing the experienced one.
To the OG poster, I understand your dilemma and frustration, I was once in your shoes. What I can tell you is, as much as I wished I was the guy on stage, I now know that is not the guy I am or want to be. That said, I am now the guy on stage, only I do it without the pitch of run to the back of the room with credit card in hand.
I attend RE meetings regularly and did so when I started out. It was a tough go at first with lots of frustration, lots of being ignored, and lots of disappointments. What I did have was drive and determination to succeed and so I never gave up. I kept at it and made my face present as much as possible. Over time, I met more and more people and learned more and more as I went along. While at these meetings today, I get all kinds of people (almost always newbies) coming up to me and the first thing out of most of their mouths is a question for me to answer. I am too nice to ignore them and turn my back and I answer if I can. After all, I know what it is like to be in their shoes. While my time is valuable, I do dedicate some of it to helping others, that is widely evident here on BP with over 11,000 posts and years of steady active membership.
I would change your approach next time. The first words out of your mouth in your introduction should not be a question about how to do something and should not be a "high, I'm a newbie". While I do not recommend you lie, your newbieness (hey, I just invented a new word) will be evident in how you talk if you are speaking to an experienced investor so no need to point that out in your first sentence.
YOU - Hey Will, I'm __________, this is my first (or second or however many times it is) time to this meeting, do you come here often? WILL - Yes, I am a member here and attend most months. YOU - That's great, I would then assume this is a good club to be a member of for serious investors? WILL - You bet. YOU - So what strategies in RE are you currently working on Will?
Lead the conversation about them and what they are doing, just general chat to create the relationship. Ask about their needs and what they are looking for, perhaps they are looking for another deal, or to fund a deal, a new contractor or sub, or whatever. Exchange business cards and at the NEXT meeting, then say hi again and perhaps ask a burning question you can not get answered on BP. In your initial conversation, perhaps you found out that the investor was looking for a new tenant, or perhaps needed something, regardless if it was RE related and perhaps you can help with it. if so, use that as an entry of trading something to them for their time for you. I get asked all the time if somebody could shadow me or be of any free assistance to me in the hopes of learning along the way. I have to turn them down on these requests as I just don't have the time to do these things for them. My time giving is here on BP and at the meetings themselves. I also get asked if they can take me to lunch all the time. Again, I don't have that kind of time, half the time I don't have time to eat at all anyways. Point is, be as respectful of their time as possible and be very careful on your approach next time. Whatever you have been saying so far has obviously not worked so try another approach and keep at it! Hope this has helped.
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Will Barnard That was very helpful, thanks! I will try to be more aware of how I'm communicating with others at these meetings. I certainly don't lead with, "Hey! I'm a n00b who wants to consume all of your time, good will and resources. How about lunch?", or questions about how to do something. I keep it light, but my newbieness inevitably arises. Leading the conversation about THEM and how I can provide value to THEM and what they need sounds fantastic, and I will focus on that instead of myself.
Also, your activity on the forums is immense! Your posts have been immensely helpful. Thank you again for your response.
Investor · Rancho Cucamonga, CA · Member since 2008 · 1k+ posts · 684 votes
12y
I am a big believer in the Real Estate club meetings. I have pulled millions of dollars, 5+ joint venture partners and a lot of wholesale deals out of these type of networking events.
I think it is always a challenge for people who have been there a long-time. Newbies come and go and every so often you run into someone who believe you owe them help.
I've had "close talkers" invade my personal space, I've had people call me endlessly asking for help achieving goals that I am not qualified to help with. I've witnessed a guru friend of mine posed questions as he is peeing in the urinal and at a funeral too.
That bad 10%, ruin it for the normal 90%.
Another thing I enjoy most about the clubs is I can catch up with many of my friends (who are already in the business) and we treat as a central meeting spot.
Some tips:
Be unique and memorable: I remember a guy wore a make shift sign once that said, I need 400k private loan secured by a 650k property. He got a lot of attention.
Focus on the smaller more intimate events. The lunch networking events you would get much more face time. As you are sitting next to a set group for 30+ minutes.
Ask specific questions as Will mentioned. "How do I get started in real estate?" is a question that would have me desire to end the conversation as quickly as possible. "I have 50k, I am approved with a hard money lender, I have looked at 25 properties this month and written 10 offers, but the feedback I am getting is my offer is too low. Any ideas on what I am doing wrong?" is a question I could actually try to answer.
Don't ask for someone to be your mentor the first time you meet them.
The manager/leader of the club is a good friend to have. They want attendance and they typically know the players. So if you can help them or befriend them that will help matters.
Specialist · Rockland, MA · Member since 2010 · 7k+ posts · 2k+ votes
12y
@Account Closed
Welcome. You might try priming the pump. Before the meeting connect with the club president ask them about the club. Ask them who are the important members of the club. Locate the club website find the vendors call them ask them about their experience in the club. Let these people know you will attend the next meeting. You will find they will be looking out for you since they know you before the meeting.
When you go and locate the "important" members use the club president as a name drop saying they told you to speak to them. Remember keep them talking about themselves people like doing that.
Investor · Brighton, TN · Member since 2013 · 78 posts · 17 votes
12y
Hello, I feel your pain. I'm new to the scene as well. It's hard for me to interrupt someone when they are already in conversation. However, I'm not going away! I'm still going to meetings and learning as much as possible and I will have my time with them eventually. Hang in there, I'm sure you will too!
I understand, I'm sure these guys and gals see a lot of different faces that never come back. We just have to prove ourselves. Wish you the best!
Investor/Landlord · Farmington Hills, MI · Member since 2011 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
12y
Most of my current business (11 separate deals) is being done with people I met at REIA's. I am going to look at a house tomorrow which was brought to me by a REIA member.
This is most certainly a relationship business. I attend meetings because I want to learn what other people are doing, what is challenging, what is working well, what is new. I go to solidify relationships with people I already partner with or I may like to partner with. I also identify people I would not be likely to get along with. If I am speaking about a current deal with a partner at a REIA I don't mind if you listen in (if there are private aspects my partner and I will move away or discuss those aspects later) but please be respectful. If you barge in and interrupt the conversation you may become the topic of conversation--unless you have great style you don't want that.
REIA meetings are valuable time for me. I will talk to you enough to meet you but I am also there to meet people I don't know, who may help my business. Make your introduction and follow up later. Almost no one follows up. That is how you will get more of my attention at the next meeting. Make a good impression and I will probably introduce you to some of my partners. Make a terrible impression and I will probably warn my partners about you.
Lender · Tyngsboro, MA · Member since 2009 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
12y
This is a good thread, and I love @Will Barnard 's and @Steve L. 's answers. They are right on the money.
Son, if you make it all about what you need, (not saying you are) then the other person turns off mentally. If one more person says "can I buy you a cup of coffee and pick your brain" I just want to scream. Really? I'm worth $3 for an hour? The same for buying me lunch.
I also agree with Will that the time I make available for new investors is the group meetings and BP, and my posts that I used to write before I had Black Diamond, which now takes huge amounts of time.
The truth about most REIAs is that they are frequently profit-making companies in the information business, although not always. They are geared to attract newbies and sell courses. The gurus pay up to 50% of the sales to the REIA. Which is why we decided to start a group with no selling speakers and direct our level of presentation to intermediate and above: so we could meet those people. We welcome beginners, however, it can be intimidating if the room is full of people with at least some experience.
So here are a couple more ideas for networking at REIA's:
Offer a service for free, and to do that, find out what the other person needs. You may be a graphic designer, you may do SEO as your day job, you may have a junk removal service, whatever. Make sure when you do something for free, that the person you are doing it for has information you need, not just another guy like yourself who needs information.
Take advantage of the introduction segment if there is one. If you can stand in front of the room and offer something of value, you will get some takers. You will also stand out from the hundreds of newbies who want time and information without offering anything.
It may be true that the head of the group may watch out for you and point you in the right direction. It may also happen that he sees an investor who doesn't know much that he can sell bad deals to, so do your homework and ask around. (I'm not saying by any means that most heads are like this, but in any group of people there are a few bad apples - and I've seen some.)
I meet hundred of new people and cant remember them all. So having a gimmick that makes you stand out from the crowd isn't bad either. I remember one investor who labeled himself "sarcastic Asian guy" because his humor was dry and he knew people needed a prompt. This worked for him, and we laugh about it.
I had another investor who offered to work for me as an admin for free when I declined to take her as an investor, because she didn't know anything, and I think being a money partner with no knowledge is a recipe for disaster. So she worked for me and listened in on all my calls (with my approval and the consent of the other party) so she could get a feel for what I do.
Good luck, I'm sure a few more people will chime in with ideas for you
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Steve L. Thank you for the insight from the experienced investors POV. I think with regular attendance, I can catch the eye of some of the big players (or at least the people who know them).
@Paul Timmins Great idea, I'm definitely going to try that. The president of our club is actually a very nice man, and I will message him before our next meeting, thank you.
@Christy Glenn Thanks for the encouragement. That is true, I meet new investors like you and me, and never see them again. Best of luck to you ;)
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Jeff Rabinowitz It seems like most people here on BP feel the same way you do, that REIA's are valuable. That is great advice: "Make your introduction and follow up later." I'm guilty of that myself and will make sure I follow up from now on, thank you.
@Ann Bellamy Great adivice, thank you! I'm going to try and listen and see if there is anything I can provide them that they might find useful. I have noticed that too, that they're always selling something at the meetings. That's why I leave my wallet in the car!
Investor · Cincinnati, OH · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
12y
@Account Closed - interesting. First, what's your outcome for the events?
If your outcome is to learn about the business then I'd say that if your conversations are only a couple minutes long then it's actually on you, not them. People love talking about their business and if you keep asking questions about to to achieve your outcome (i.e. learn the biz) then they will keep talking.
Everyone is good at something. I'd identify what that something is during the conversation with them then talk to them about it. At minimum you'll come away with knowledge about their area of expertise.
That said, some people simply don't want to talk to people. They are the same ones who don't give back to others. They aren't the type of people you don't want to associate with anyway so feel fortunate they cut the convo short because they just saved you time you could be spending talking to someone else.
Clearwater, FL · Member since 2013 · 46 posts · 10 votes
12y
@Rachel Leonard Great advice. I found one group that's slightly more progressive than the big one in my city, but they only meet once a quarter as opposed to monthly. I will keep on the look out for other groups as well, thanks.
@Joe Fairless That's a great way of looking at it. I'm actually going to a REIA meeting this evening, so I will try to find out who's good at what and get them talking. I will also try not to take it so personal when someone blows me off, thanks Joe.
That post was spot on! Awesome thread to show how great the content is here on BP. Thanks!
"and they would not know how to pick up the fork and knife to eat it!"
@Account Closed, I second what others have said. Get the lingo of the business down and keep building rapport with people you feel are serious investors.
Insurance Agent · AZ · Member since 2013 · 306 posts · 161 votes
12y
@Account Closed Hi Son! While I'm (currently) not an investor, I was having a conversation with an insurance colleague, and he said something (along the lines of what Will and some others have said), and that is, in business and networking it's important to add some additional value.
As we all know, we are in a world full of "WIIFM" (What's in it for me?) types of people. Good, bad or otherwise, that's just how it is.
My colleague made the point of using an example of being a "connector" for someone. He had a client come in who'd lost their job and was thinking about cancelling/changing their policy due to costs. My colleague asked him what field he'd been in before he was laid off, and the client told him. As they talked, my colleague told him that he knew someone who was hiring in that sector, and while he couldn't promise him a job, he could at least get him an interview. Well, the client contacted my colleagues' friend and got the job. That client sings my colleagues praises and now sends referrals his way because he: a. listened to his problem/situation; and, b. helped him out by helping him secure a job.
Sometimes there isn't anything you can offer, but more often than not we are well-equipped to offer solutions. So, when you are at networking events, over time you will hear "points of pain" being expressed by some of the attendees, and perhaps you'll be in a position to offer a solution to them.