Tired of being a do-nothing loser

Craig Castro · 2022-01-13T23:57:53-08:00

I'm sorry if the title is a bit harsh, but this is where I'm at. I've read numerous books including Rich Dad, Poor Dad, David Greene's books as well as others. I do everything I can to soak up the knowledge, but then it just stops. I just can't seem to figure out how to actually take the first steps. I get so caught up in the whole process I never end up going anywhere. A large portion of this is fear. Fear that I might not be good at it. Fear that I might be good at it, but don't deserve success. Stupid reasons when all is said and done. I make a good living at my current job, but I absolutely hate working for someone else. I get no fulfillment whatsoever and during the pandemic I've learned that being around family and having flexibility of schedule is more important to me than anything. Even though I've proven to my organization that I can work well and thrive from home, they don't care and want me back in the office soon because they don't trust us to actually do our jobs from home (despite having done it for almost 2 years now). I'm tired of being treated that way from people who have outdated views on how things should be done. I really want to succeed this time. I want to take those steps I was too afraid to take last time. I'd love to find a coach or mentor that can actually hold my hand and get me started on my journey so I can learn that it's not as scary as my mind is making it out to be. In the past I felt too proud to ask for help, but this time I'm doing so. I need to take those first steps so I can begin to build a life of wealth. I understand it's not an overnight process, but the longer I keep being too scared to take that first step the longer my dreams will take to be fulfilled. The thought of working for myself makes me feel alive. Sorry for the boring rant, I just figured if anyone else was feeling that way I'd let you know you're not alone.If anyone has recommendations for coaches or mentors please let me know. I'm ready to take those steps. Best wishes to all other investors and future investors. I hope you all find success.

Krystal Simmons

Wholesaler · Washington, D.C. · Member since 2019 · 5 posts · 14 votes

4y

Good Day Craig,

I have been where you are many times Craig. You can overcome your fears. The fact that you can see that you require more to make changes...is huge. Seeing your habits that don't help you get to where you want to be...is huge. Congratulate yourself for that. The majority of people don't have the courage to see themselves objectively and vulnerably as you are doing. Winners are problem solvers and that is what you are doing.

I recommend Jeffrey Combs of Golden Masterminds, John Assaraf, Dr. Joe Dispenza & Marissa Peer. They all have different methods and approaches so see if any of there content/methods connects with you.

I don't need to know you, to tell you...you deserve whatever success you can see for yourself! You deserve it! You deserve it! You deserve it! You can overcome your fears Craig! Don't give up on reading and feeding yourself knowledge and find some audios that make you feel good, if only for a little while. Be your own wealth cheerleader Craig!!

12 Reply

Shai Flax

North Richland Hills, TX · Member since 2019 · 156 posts · 80 votes

4y

Hi @Craig Castro, that is a very courageous thing of you to do and that is admirable!

You can def find someone who has a mentorship program but I want to offer you a different point of view- what about asking for someone from the market you are planning to invest in to help you with that? You can either pay them, make them an equity partner and some people would love to help you for free to give back.

This is my plan- when I'll do my first flip (I'm a buy&hold investor now) I'm going to search for a person who's done lots of flips and get him/her to help me by splitting the profit or any other way.

Feel free to reach out and I can try and help however I can, I'll just say that I did only 5 purchases until now so I wouldn't say I'm a very seasoned investor...

Good luck!

5 Reply

Account Closed

Rental Property Investor · Brooke Park Drive · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

4y

Connect with a lender and a realtor in the market you’re going to invest in. Get the ball rolling. Post back here when you’ve completed those steps.

10 Reply

Theresa HarrisPro Member

Member since 2019 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes

4y

Start by deciding what you want to do....long term rentals, short term rentals, flips. Then talk to the bank to find out how much you can afford to borrow for a mortgage. If you want to do long term rentals (of the three these are the least amount of day to day work-generally speaking), do your research to find out how much rents are in the area you want to invest in and house prices. Then just start running the numbers for places that are in your budget.

Most of us have a regular job that allows us to buy rentals. Banks are funny in that they want to know we have the income to afford to make the mortgage payments.

6 Reply

Michael Noto

Real Estate Agent · Southington, CT · Member since 2008 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes

4y

Set goals and take progress towards them every day. Every single day, with no excuses. Do that and in time you will get to where you want to be. Is this path easy? Nope, but as someone who has been exactly where you are and has come out the other side I can tell you its worth it.

5 Reply

Zambricki Li

Real Estate Agent · Los Angeles CA + Lake Tahoe, NV and CA · Member since 2021 · 180 posts · 158 votes

4y

Get as specific as possible, pick an asset type, and move towards it. Shore up your DTI and get a pre approval. Start with one property, doesn't have to be a home run, it can be a base hit and you will learn the process. There are a lot of Coaches, Mentors, out there who actually don't have that many deals or special knowledge, they have created a business for themselves and basically repackage core concepts. In retrospect anyone who got into real estate investing 5 years ago looks like a genius. Some who may take your $ literally make more from coaching than from their re portfolio. I've been slow and steady building a portfolio for ten years and in my experience consistency and finding a really good deal trumps # of doors which is actually not a great metric for your real financial picture and very much tied to location. If someone has 30 doors in a very cheap area that is not necessarily financial freedom unless they also live in the same area and love it as a place to reside and have found their bliss. Your money is made at purchase. Yes, there are good still deals out there, I'm writing an offer on one for myself(found through probate) right now. If you have the finance side in order then you can begin. All that being said I know a few great coaches who actually have elevated knowledge or experience and will DM you their contact. Best of luck and thank you for sharing so openly here.

2 Reply

Bud Gaffney

Rental Property Investor · Boston, MA · Member since 2019 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes

4y

Hey Craig, Welcome! Here is my honest, best, advice for you.

JUST GO FOR IT! Come back to this post a year after you JUMP, and I promised you, you will be 1 TRILLION TIMES happier. One more time....

GO FOR IT MY FRIEND!!!!

2 Reply

Craig Castro

OP

Homeowner · Manteca, CA · Member since 2019 · 21 posts · 21 votes

4y

Thank you all for your replies so far. My goal is to be held accountable by folks who have done this before and I appreciate you all for responding. @Krystal Simmons thank you for your encouragement. My goal was to start out doing wholesaling and working up enough capital that I could start doing some BRRR deals as I feel passive income via long-term rentals would be my bread and butter. I'd love to hear your experiences on wholesaling and how you got started.

@Shai Flax - Thank you as well. You have 5 purchases under your belt and to me, that sounds quite seasoned! You're much further ahead and I view that as inspiration. I'd love to hear your journey too. I've always been afraid of going to a local REI meeting as I feel like they'd all just look at me like some poser. I know it's a stupid thought. I just need to buckle down and do it. Everyone has to start somewhere, right?

@Account Closed - Thank you for this. Question for you. My niece is currently working to get her RE License to become an agent. I was originally waiting for her to get it so I could hopefully help her out, but also realize that not all RE Agents are created equal. Am I doing myself a disservice by trying to help her out? I did reach out to a lender I used in the past a few months ago, but she never called me back. I got a little frustrated, but it may be time for me to find a new lender who will actually respond. I will report back to you on this. If you have any tips on finding good agents or lenders, I'm all ears.

@Theresa Harris - After listening to countless podcasts and a lot of reading, I've decided that the BRRR method is my end goal with SFH/multi-families and to build up cash I'm interested in wholesaling as a lower-risk way of building up cash.

@Michael Noto - Thank you for your words of encouragement. Right now my goal is to figure out what goals I need to set for myself so I can do just that. Michael P. gave me a good action item, so I'm going to start with that. As I said before, sometimes I get so bogged down in the process/concepts of REI that I don't even really know what to do to get the ball rolling. That makes sense to me, so I'll start there and report back.

@Zambricki Li - I sent you a DM with more details. Thank you for reaching out!

@Bud Gaffney - Thank you. I know you're 100% right. I just need that kick in the butt so thank you for affirming that action is the best remedy!

Gonna go get started on finding a good agent/lender and will report back!

3 Reply

Eric Morel

Member since 2021 · 98 posts · 53 votes

4y

1st thing 1st. This is coming from someone who has downed himself for years. It took me hitting rock bottom a few years back. I called myself a loser, viewed myself as less then others, and settled for less then I deserved in all areas of life. Please refrain from using negative comments to describe yourself. The 1st time you make a mistake which we all do. It will reenforce that view of yourself. You are not a loser. You are just careful to prepare prior to action.

I am also in the starting gates and have hit a few challenges to get my 1st deal. It has not deteored me which it would have a few years back. I know my goals and those goals drive my decisions. I may be to stubborn and narrowminded and missing opportunities now, but flipping homes doesn't meet my goals for example. I know what I want to do. Just may not be able to start doing it for 6 mos from now.

You got this!!!!! You are a winner!!!!

5 Reply

Thomas O'Donnell

Rental Property Investor · Columbus, OH · Member since 2021 · 231 posts · 188 votes

4y

Hey Craig! I am in the exact same boat. You are not alone here! Feel free to message me if you want to talk or pick each other's brains!

3 Reply

Rick Blunt

Member since 2021 · 1 post · 3 votes

4y

HI Craig, I feel your pain, I am in a similar boat, I have a plan in my head and I am trying to make progress, I do tasks that move the needle but never do the big tasks that matter. If you are up for it feel free to reach out to me and perhaps we can talk it through and hold each other accountable.

3 Reply

Account Closed

Rental Property Investor · Brooke Park Drive · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

4y

@Account Closed - Thank you for this. Question for you. My niece is currently working to get her RE License to become an agent. I was originally waiting for her to get it so I could hopefully help her out, but also realize that not all RE Agents are created equal. Am I doing myself a disservice by trying to help her out? I did reach out to a lender I used in the past a few months ago, but she never called me back. I got a little frustrated, but it may be time for me to find a new lender who will actually respond. I will report back to you on this. If you have any tips on finding good agents or lenders, I'm all ears.

If it was me I'd use an agent experienced working with investors, and not the neice who is in-experienced.

6 Reply

John Nachtigall

Santa Rosa, CA · Member since 2017 · 325 posts · 701 votes

4y

Your problem is not that you are a do-nothing loser, your problem is that you are (1) disorganized and don't understand risk (2) in love with the theory of financial freedom, not the reality

Regarding the first problem. There is a set list of things that need to happen for you to become a real estate investor. Depending on the area you invest (long term rental, short term rental, BRRRR) that list has a lot of overlap and is pretty undisputed. For example, before I started buying remote long term rentals

- Eliminate all personal debt, set a limit on what part of my wealth I want to invest

- Educate myself on long term rentals

- Obtain a HELOC so I have additional capital, opportunities (this was the part of my wealth I was investing)

- Find a property manager

- set property requirements for properties

- analyze properties, etc...

It is a step by step list of what has to happen in order to achieve a final goal, in this case of owning a set number of long term, remote, hands off rental properties. Implicit in this list is an acknowledgement of the risks and benefits and tradeoffs of this plan. Again as an example, the benefit is a regular monthly income in retirement, the risk is that the cost of ownership will be more than the revenue (mitigated by using only 1/2 the HELOC so a lot of capital remains), and the tradeoff is that I am leaving money on the table by paying off the mortgages in 10 years (to increase cash flow) and that by using a property manager I am hands off, but I am not maximizing returns. In short, the longest journey starts with a step and a map. Create the map and start taking steps

When you write down the risks (fears) you can define and mitigate them. That changes it from an emotional decision to a logical one (yes I am an engineer). Once you have them actually in front of you you can mitigate them or accept the them. I was not thrilled that I had 6 of 8 doors that I bought in renovation when COVID hit. But while no one planned for a global pandemic, I had capital reserves in place for the unexpected, which it turned out I didnt need and they rented just fine. But without that mitigation and planning I would have been reacting emotionally instead of logically. I have fears like everyone else, the difference is I thought them through beforehand.

Regarding 2 you are reading these books and they are "building the why" inside of you. If you want to convince someone of something the first thing you do is "build the why". Tell people why they should love it. Passive money, spend time with family, use other peoples money....it all sounds great. But if it was easy then the vast majority of workers would not get all of their income from W2 jobs. The truth is that it is hard, risky, and requires discipline. It is much harder than just having a job, that is why 99% of people live off jobs and very very few invest and quit.

In a country where 60% of people dont have $1000 in cash it is blatantly obvious that most people are unsuited to try. I honestly tell most people to just invest in an S&P 500 index fund for 40 years and work your job. It is a lot easier and has a much higher chance of success for most people. I dont know you, only you really know you. So decide, are you the 1% that is willing to work harder, risk more, and remain disciplined to succeed. Is the "why" enough to get you to take the risks and make the sacrifices? The stats say no, the stats say you are just a guy with a dream but no ability to do it. But while it is statistically rare for lightning to strike, it strikes the earth every day. Are you that rare occurrence.

Good Luck, I hope this helped you think about your problem in a different way.

7 Reply

Joe S.Pro Member

Investor · San Antonio · Member since 2020 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes

4y

Buy one rental property. Then repeat the process. Stop over thinking…

8 Reply

Michael Fox

Member since 2020 · 5 posts · 4 votes

4y

It's time to take action Craig! Finish reading this and then:

1) Apply with with a lender or 2 today! If you don't have an answer on the app just type x and then you can talk it over when they call you. Do it right away and don't quit into it's done!

2) Call a realtor in your area or an area you want to invest in or an area you might invest in and tell them you want to buy investment properties this year, you have applied with a lender and you'd like them to help you. Set an appointment so they'll keep you accountable to follow through.

3) If you're approved for a loan let your realtor (s) know how much you're approved for and ask them to help you find the right property.

4) Look at the best options and when you think you see one that's better than the others WRITE AN OFFER! If there's no competition then just write it for asking or a little better and give them a short response time. Lien on your realtor got this... Just ask them what you need to do to get it and make as many offers as you need to.

Once you get in this far hopefully it will force you across the finish line. You have time to do ALL of this today! Literally in the east coast here you could do steps one and 2 today to be ready for the weekend but in CA you can do all of it. You know what you need to know to get started so ✔️ just do it RIGHT NOW!

1 Reply

Andrew HoganPro Member

Rental Property Investor · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2016 · 559 posts · 463 votes

4y

A close friend of mine was in the same shoes as you.

Before giving the middle finger to his corporate job he paid off all his credit cards, bought pre-paid gift cards for food, restaurants, movies, and other leisure items, he got his medical and dental checkups done while he was still on insurance, and reduced recurring expenses in order to live as lean as possible in start-up mode.

Over 12 months later, he is not a multimillionaire but is thanking himself for making the leap.

You'll definitely want to have a solid network / inner-circle that you can lean on. Going on your own has a lot of ups and downs and it sounds like you're plenty hard on yourself.

All the best!

3 Reply

Joe SplitrockPro Member

Moderator

Rental Property Investor · Sioux Falls, SD · Member since 2015 · 9k+ posts · 18k+ votes

4y

@Craig Castro any coach or mentor program is only as effective as the action you take. A coach or mentor can help with strategies and accountability. Still at the end of the day, they are not holding your hand. You are an adult. You will need to step up. I am not saying that to be harsh, just realistic.

7 Reply

Matthew Irish-JonesBusiness Member

Real Estate Agent · Buffalo, NY · Member since 2017 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes

4y

@Craig Castro the grass is not always greener on the other side. It’s very scary to invest in Real Estate and you can lose a lot of money.

It’s even more scary and risky to become a full time

Entrepreneur with no salary.

If you get no fulfillment from working for a living, learning, and being paid, you are not ready for Investing.

Get your mind right and you can consider investing or working for yourself. You don’t need to read more books on investing you need to read a book on mindset.

Passage Meditation by Eknath Eswaren is my recommendation.

Mindset first…. All other things come after.

Irish Jones Realty4.947 Reviews

View Page

1 Reply

Craig Castro

OP

Homeowner · Manteca, CA · Member since 2019 · 21 posts · 21 votes

4y

So first action item has been completed. I left a VM with a lender who appears to be REI friendly and am awaiting her call back. I have also found an agent that I will reach out to once I'm able to speak with the lender and see what my options are.

I appreciate everyone's comments. A few mentioned getting my debts in order. I currently am debt-free with the exception of the mortgage on my personal residence. I will be speaking with the lender about possibly doing a HELOC to pull some equity out in order to finance a possible deal.

I know my headline was a bit harsh, but obviously I do not view myself as a loser overall I'm just frustrated by the information overload and was hoping that would spark some action to be taken and to hold myself accountable. I am my own worst critic I'll admit, but I've done well enough for myself up to this point I just want more for myself. The feeling of doing something for myself excites me and that's something I've never had when working for someone else, especially when they don't show appreciation for your effort. A coworker of mine is leaving to venture off on his own and I'm super excited and envious for him. I know the grass isn't always greener, but I've also heard the phrase "You don't get wealthy by working for someone else your whole life" and I do think there's truth in that statement in most cases. I'm obviously not going to just up and quit my job, but I'd like to take steps to where if I can find success that it may be an option down the line.

I will also look into the reading on the mindset. I feel like I'm a very conflicted soul in some regards. I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit but after having a child I also became fearful of taking big risks because I don't want to negatively impact their life. I'm trying to find a way to achieve both entrepreneurial success while also keeping my child's quality of life intact.

I will report more once I've had those initial conversations with the lender and RE agent.

3 Reply

Eric Bilderback

Real Estate Agent · Sisters, OR · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

4y

@Craig Castro

I would go to some real estate meetups and get to know people, maybe even start one. Keep your money for a down payment on an asset.

My two pieces of advice I have learned from BP and I tell people all the time,

1. People overestimate what they can accomplish in one year and they underestimate what they can accomplish in 3 or 5 years.

2. Reading books is well and good but you have to take action.

Best of luck,

4 Reply

Wendy C.Pro Member

Realtor · Albuquerque, NM · Member since 2018 · 12 posts · 10 votes

4y

@Craig Castro I find myself in your shoes off and on actually. I go go go and then fizzle out for a while, then go go go again, then fizzle. (Honestly not sure if I have ADHD or not LOL) I've completed a few flips and I find myself not able to focus at times and pick the next route to go down. And honestly hard to find properties right now while I work 40+ hours a week and parent a 5 year old. But I still have faith.... luckily. I started thinking about what would be residual income and real estate and I really focused in on what would replace my very good paying W-2 job. I realized I liked David Greene's BRRRR method for long term wealth. I started following certain REI groups on Facebook to do with BRRRR method. I've connected with a good group and learned, what I feel, are very intriguing insights to the BRRRR method that have made me think more in DEPTH about what makes a property viable for method. (PM me, I'm point you in that direction).

I would also recommend that you check on the Meetup website to see the local real estate investment (REI) clubs and groups where you can connect with other investors who might also be beginners, as well as others who are further along. THAT was what really helped when I began!

I'm interested to follow your story. Please update when you have new info! Congrats on taking the first step and contacting that never and Realtor!

1 Reply

Account Closed

Member since 2022 · 26 posts · 12 votes

4y

Being afraid to make a bad investment is a great thing and you are much better off not rushing to make mistakes. Your fears mean you are missing some important requirements e.g. you may not be familiar enough with how to do the math and how to analyze investments for their future potential.

Looking for a mentor is not a good option since what you may be lacking negates your ability to know whether or not some wannabe mentor you choose knows what he is doing. Keep doing your research, focus on the math, focus on the potential future profits after rehabbing, increasing rents, principal paydown from rents collected, benefits from tax depreciation and then you may see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Even the pros have dry spells where we can't find good deals for several years at a time. The last property I purchased was 10 months ago. I look for properties every day and find thousands of properties for sale, but can't find one that fits my business model. So, don't think you are alone when you say you can't find a good opportunity. Maybe, you are doing better than you think and then you will get some mentor who really screws your life up.

Don't be anxious to lose money. Someone recently wrote a post stating that nobody loses money in real estate. That is not true and while the number of people who lose money in real estate is small the problem investors need to think about is; the question is not about losing money. The question is not about making money. The question, or concern should be about finding the investment that returns the highest ROI and not just any ROI that comes along.

2 Reply

Jim K.

Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

4y

@Craig Castro

Craig, I'm going to echo @Eric Bilderback's first piece of advice on this.

People overestimate what they can accomplish in one year and they underestimate what they can accomplish in 3 or 5 years.

1 Reply

Michael Fox

Member since 2020 · 5 posts · 4 votes

4y

It's time to take action Craig! Finish reading this and then:

1) Apply with with a lender or 2 today! If you don't have an answer on the app just type x and then you can talk it over when they call you. Do it right away and don't quit into it's done!

2) Call a realtor in your area or an area you want to invest in or an area you might invest in and tell them you want to buy investment properties this year, you have applied with a lender and you'd like them to help you. Set an appointment so they'll keep you accountable to follow through.

3) If you're approved for a loan let your realtor (s) know how much you're approved for and ask them to help you find the right property.

4) Look at the best options and when you think you see one that's better than the others WRITE AN OFFER! If there's no competition then just write it for asking or a little better and give them a short response time. Lien on your realtor got this... Just ask them what you need to do to get it and make as many offers as you need to.

Once you get in this far hopefully it will force you across the finish line. You have time to do ALL of this today! Literally in the east coast here you could do steps one and 2 today to be ready for the weekend but in CA you can do all of it. You know what you need to know to get started so ✔️ just do it RIGHT NOW!

1 Reply

Chris LumLee

Investor · Honolulu, HI · Member since 2017 · 187 posts · 108 votes

4y

@Craig Castro You can't be a loser. You're not my ex-gf.

Sorry...I had to.

1 Reply

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