I would probably have a much smaller tenant pool if I did request 2x security +first months, not to say it's impossible though.

Impossible to add any clarity without more detail.You could be buying a 10 million property and net worth is 8 million and maxing out a purchase which could have a higher overall risk factor versus someone with a 50 million net worth and a balanced portfolio. 

Everything seemed impossibly cheap (coming from an unreasonably expensive market), but the rents seem simultaneously too low (to cash flow) and too high (for the ever lowering BHA).

1 - unlikely but not impossible.

Since I’m buying turnkey and there’s no value-add/BRRRR opportunity on my end, it’d be virtually impossible to immediately get those funds back out (and even if I did/could, it’d involve lender fees and costs, etc.).

I don't want to get in a pickle with transferring all this stuff over and then running into impossible roadblocks of "what do you mean he can't come to the bank in person." 

I’d love to do a conventional loan with 5-10% down but have talked to a few local lenders that essentially said it would be impossible with less than 20-25% down because banks would not believe the multi fam would truly become my primary after living in a SFH.

I’d love to do a conventional loan with 5-10% down but have talked to a few local lenders that essentially said it would be impossible with less than 20-25% down because banks would not believe the multi fam would truly become my primary after living in a SFH.

Market seems extremely hot and I am very discouraged because it’s near impossible to find a fair/ good deal.

I am a farmer in California, labor laws and water practices have made it almost impossible here.