Since deciding to get into investing I have listened to about 100 of the bp podcasts and read a few of the recommended books, I’ve taken the classes to get my CT real estate license and will take my exam on Monday.

Just know that you are buying time savings because ALL the information they share with you will be available in books, podcasts, or webpages.

Honestly, you might need to lower your standards right now due to your reported income.

If you are an independent contractor with multiple years operating in your business and reasonable consistency in that income (you don't have one year with $30K and one year with $200K and are trying to claim you make $200K) then you need to keep calling lenders until you get one who can work with you, in my opinion.If my real estate side business and my book royalties from Set for Life (next year) can help me qualify for a loan, in addition to my W2 income, then I don't see why someone with consistent income from self-employment is having trouble -- perhaps the trouble is more in demonstrating consistent income from a sustainable source? 

Read books and listen to podcasts on real estate investing.

I'm sure you have even more codewords to express your desire to raise your kids in a place that requires no work to meet your standards for space, cleanliness, modernity, and aesthetic appeal. 

What you mention above about your lender doesn't jive with my understanding of the standard regulations.

I have been following BP's podcasts and reading the books for some time.

If you're interested in learning more, I wrote a whole book on finding your niche (which talks about interviewing mentors) and being a successful real estate investor.

AVMs have gotten better... but they still are not reliable and most have standard deviations (remember high school statistics?)