I don't want a thousand doors, because that is a thousand tenants and it means I need employees or contract property managers to run my business.

Even if you are still going to drop off shovels and bags of ice melt, which I still think is the right thing to do, keep a log of dates, deliveries, and any special instructions needed, with all disclaimers that the resident is not an employee and these are for private use only. 

I've heard of employers sending "gift" emails to employees where the employee can select from 20-30 gifts in let's say a $50 dollar range.

This scenario is you unfortunately went through because you decided to not stay a W-2 employee is all to common. 

As in, if this "loophole" really existed and was legitimate, every single employee in the US would be instructing their employer to directly pay their mortgage, their auto loans, and their credit cards. 

Anecdotally I've received a few emails from my alma mater indicating they're cutting back on employees due to financial strain (reduced admissions?

When I looked at it closely, there is water stains in this area and the termite employees also noticed it.

Also has anyone had experience renting to Northrop and Lockheed employees?

Intel did a study before they built the new fab plants in Hillsborothe study was to build them or exit Oregon.. based on cost of power water and work force already in place .. quality of lifestyle for employees etc etc.. they chose to build and stay.. 

You are required to use a Qualified Intermediary.Try phillip’s recommendation above or try @Dave Foster.