On two of my houses I cash out refinanced them and they still flow positive albeit only a few hundred a month, but I got out all my money invested in those houses and a few thousand extra on top.

Being in the unique position I’m in with family being flexible on the deal I didn’t know if there was a way to make it work.

Getting myself in a better financial position and then at that point possibly considering getting back into real estate. 

I could use that money to transition into the bigger investments (apartment complex).I have two properties in California which do not bring me that much positive cash flow, but have gained a lot of value over the last 5 years.

What is your preferred method for taking control of a property with a first position lien?...

What an incredible life and still time to build a rental portfolio.As Don Said, your ticket to get that portfolio positioned in Charlotte will be using the 1031 exchange. 

You need to have positive cash flow each month.

The positive note here is I have enough income coming in from it to at least cover my fixed costs and have extra for anything that pops up if I were to have 3 vacant units until mid January to March/April. 

I only purchase value add deals personally, so I am looking for deals that will be able to perform at 9 or 10 caps within a year of my re-positioning play.

If you could somehow show the 2nd position lender that they will likely get nothing upon the sale at auction, its likely that they will negotiate.