The money is 3- 4 points at the table.

I feel like I've exhausted options for pursuing this property, less private money or a cosigner (both are on the table but not ideal for me), and the idea of over-leveraging myself is not sitting well either, but I really think this deal is worth the effort/risk.

You would need to bring more cash to the table. 

Is she really leaving $100K on the table for you? 

That is what I bring to the table finding the deals fixing the property and handling its sale.

Our private money guy then funded the difference and the cash that was required from us to bring at the closing table, while we give a pretty substantial return on his money.

You need to bring something to the table, something that will attract an investor usually a deal or a track record for producing good and stable returns.

To me, this evens the tables a bit. 

It seems that allowing evictions is the only way to even the tables, after all, most tenants are getting checks in the mail.

I have leveraged them in the past to stop services that may bring your tenants back to the table.5)In certain states, the landlord can turn utilities on / off .