I had a similar situation; after calling most major banks/lenders, and getting "no actuary will every approve that," I was able to work it out with a local Credit Union. 

Anyone who’s ever been in this situation, what did you do?

Just paying the taxes gives you no legal leg up on owning the property.....that is misinformation.....maybe they are referring to Adberse Possession which wouldn’t apply in this situation typically......state laws are specific.You are going to have to talk to a probate attorney in Your state.  

In some cases, they vary that much in the same town.This creates a situation where I have to explain to people the difficulty of buying in certain areas.

Originally posted by @Joey Isidore:@J Scott you must have quite the time on your hands.I apologize if my point didn't come across as intended...To address your question more directly:  There is no way for someone who doesn't know you, your situation, your goals, you expertise, your location, your time availability, your acceptable amount of stress, etc. to tell you which path is better for you. 

Yes, in these situations I've used https://www.myrental.com/.

I am in a similar situation as far as needing to know what can be included in the repair list.

Since the situation is different now, I'd suggest charging her your normal pet fee, and make everything non-refundable.   

Because you are moving due to an employment situation you can sell that property and take at least a % of the gain tax free. 

What to do in situations like this.?