I need help from whomever I can get before I pay a lawyer.

You can try one more time and tell them this is their last chance, next time they need to move.

Keeping this as a rental would not cover the mortgage (we'd have to pay ~1500 a month including utilities) and we can afford the extra payment, but is it worth it when looking at appreciation?

If you are in Virginia, you can definitely invest closer - it's not San Diego.

America they can eat anyones lunch they choose to at any given moment. 

Mortgage assumption can be a smart move, especially with rates where they are.Funny enough, my buddy Mike over in Austin ran into a similar situation last year.

If they are in an upstairs apartment and leak, the damage can extend to the downstairs unit.

Can anyone recommend a great REI friendly agent? 

There are going to be three levels of addressing this 1) things you can simply go there and do anytime (pick up pet waste and throw it away) 2) things you can do given proper notice (enter the unit and inspect, repair damage etc) and 3) things you can only do given proper process/procedure (notice to vacate, increase rent etc.)

When you have time, can you add Hostaway to the list?