Find out techniques to convince them that even though I don't have some six figure some to bring to the table I'm not just some dead weight trying to leech off them.

A good agent can be worth his weight in gold-pressed latinum.

However, I'm not sure if the seller's submitted contract will allow me to do so, although there is nothing within the body of the contract itself that mentions anything binding me from doing so and my seller is absolutely fine with the idea of me assigning my interest elsewhere.

I've talked to my title person, county assessor, real estate attorney, and any body else I think may know what to do, and no one has been able to give me any advice that I can act on.

Have any body had any experience with this?

But, we do not plan on staying in our current house forever so that doesn't seem like too much weight should be put into that.

I like this route because I can see their body language, and its easier to gauge the tone of their voice.

Yes I understand that at end of day it'll still need to rely on buyer due dilligence to verify and it's a risk management decision, but tax return filing does carry more weight than seller's income/expense statement in my mind. 

Is this a really high crime area where the police just collect the bodies?

But I do want to take this seriously as I don’t plan on scaling skyscrapers and beating my body to death until I’m 60 years old.