Landlord informs the Tenant that the sewer system of the Premises is not designed to accept many types of items, included but not limited to, paper diapers, sanitary napkins, tampons, and children’s toys, balls of hair, grease, oil, table scraps, clothing, rags, sand, dirt, rocks or newspaper.

I haven't checked the PA one but there's probably something similar.5-12-040 Tenant Responsibilities(c) Dispose of all ashes, rubbish, garbage and other waste from his dwelling unit in a clean and safe manner; (d) Keep all plumbing fixtures in the dwelling unit or used by the tenant as clean as their condition permits; (e) Use in a reasonable manner all electrical, plumbing, sanitary, heating, ventilating, air conditioning and other facilities and appliances, including elevators, in the premises;

They will not accept things such as flushable wipes, personal wipes, baby wipes, paper diapers, sanitary napkins, tampons, wads of toilet paper, dental floss, balls of hair, paper towels, newspapers, grease, oil, table scraps, bones, clothing, rags, sand, dirt, rocks, or children’s toys.

As for renovations, you can look at pictures and scratch some numbers on the back of a napkin but I've only been "pleasantly surprised" once when I've toured a property regarding condition. 

Once you add-in the cost of utilities (especially heat), furnishings (couches, tables and chairs, beds, sheets, towels, table cloths, pots and pans and plates and silverware, napkins, toilet paper, TV's and radios, washer and dryer and refrigerator - yes, it's common for a long-term SFR not to include a washer, dryer, or refrigerator - etc, etc, etc), plowing/lawn/trash (or HOA fees), cleaning, extra repairs and maintenance (I promise that a long-term house renter takes better care and causes less wear and tear than a revolving door of vacation renters), turnover management and screening, etc, etc, you are not making any more with the vacation rental than with the long-term SFR where the tenants pay all the utilities (possibly with the exception of water/sewer), and take care of the lawn and snow, and provide their own furnishings soup to nuts.

From the feedback i keep receiving, i get the impression in could almost walk into the title company with the offer and details written in a napkin and, as long as its signed with an earnest money check, i can start closing. 

Let's start with the back of the napkin approach since you don't have much time:lease type?

Our state has a provision for disposal of hazardous materials which we deem to include rotting food, animal carcasses, used diapers and everything else that is not sanitary.  

Kevin's right, though--get as much historical information about short term rental as you can--reservation level data, not something scratched out on a napkin.

PL162017Keep plumbing clean and sanitary. (13-196-620 B, 13-196-630 B), (18-29-402.1), (18-29-402.1.1)1st flr.and  1st flr.Bathroom tubs; unsanitary condition.