I don't think it's all about work ethic, as Mike Rowe likes to say.

Finally he does wire me a payment but there is no accounting of which notes it is for, what is principle, what is interest, or anything like that so I start asking for that info.

If that is the best return you can get on $100K, then do so.You do a little worse because you end up with less principle paydown when recasting (the opposite is true if you are simply prepaying. 

If their deposit was more than $100 that's a huge ethical breach.

Over the course of subject to deals, you now have an ethical responsibility to the seller.The Loan May Be Called Due: There is a possibility that the lender could call the loan due if they realize the home has been transferred.

These are professionals with additional training and a stricter code of ethics.

If you have ethical concerns with this method of real estate transaction, then don’t partake in it.  

If yes to #1, do you think that person would teach you the ethical way to do things?

The numbers usually just don't work after you factor in principle, interest, taxes, property insurance, as well as a maintenance reserve unless you somehow found a steal of a deal on the purchase price.A refi is simply a new loan where you are keeping your same house.  

Here’s why:Professionalism and ExpertiseNARPM members adhere to strict ethical and professional standards.