Sophisticated investors invest on cashflow where the rents exceed the mortgage plus expenses (and enough money to pay for professional property manage to do our dirty work).

You are a FAR more sophisticated investor than I am. 

I'll leave the diplomacy to sophisticated individuals like yourself.And off course Dom.Best of luck to you also Charles 🇺🇸

For fun, I pulled out my dialogue with you, but not even in a really sophisticated way.  

I commend you for working that hard for that little, but that's typically what you expect for very low skill labor, and you sound more sophisticated.

Tenants who aren't sophisticated will fall for it, and tenants that know it's garbage will just shrug it off since the immediate target is not them (a normal human reaction).

Details I'm looking at: Budget is 350k; 3+ BR, 2+ BA; Single-Family Home or Townhome; Low HOA; Also looking to rent rooms (House Hack).Amazon workers are not likely to live in Anacostia... that would require them to go over two bridges in order to get to work.... if an Amazonian is looking for cheap housing they are more likely going to look at Prince Georges County in Suitland or Oxon Hill by the MGM casino and then they only have to cross the Wilson Bridge. 

There are four casinos two of which have been recently renovated.

Find a bimbo in a casino lounge to pay $10,000 to get married and divorced later, with a solid prenup, and get $500K instead of $250K.  

I do go to the casino at midnight on Sunday nights and drink 5 rum and cokes.