Well, I have a brain injury from Iraq, so I can't drive these days. 

Also incorrect is the transaction fee after capping (at least in my neck of the woods). 

The owners chase after them, get bitten and hurt getting them off whatever they are attaching, so there is less injury...but it happens over and over.They still have their dogs because they are on a leash and the owners are trying.  

To add insult to injury, they sneak in language requiring the Investor to pay both sets of closing costs in a double closing, require both an EMD AND a separate non-refundable Deposit to cover their expenses in the very likely event the double close runs into a snafu.

I have seen far to many of those go under for sure and they are a mess when it happens.I flew my plane into Destin one time now that was fun  military air fields all around and take off right over the ocean... an aircraft in your neck of the woods if your buying in other states would be a handy tool... just buy the one with the parachute like I have... its a life saver if you need it. 

We have many BP from your neck of the woods, so they'll chime in with better numbers, but for a cash purchase in that price range, you'll likely look at around $1000 (not counting inspection or appraisals).

I found out I was having a kid 4 years ago and started growing my hair until my locs reached my neck.

There are many things they listed in there letter that are not a duty of a landlord (at least not in Ohio), and if they did not get everything you promised to do in writing, then that is their problem because, barring extreme circumstances involving injury, the only thing that holds in courts with tenancies is your tenancy contract and anything else in writing. 

In my neck of the woods November and December are painful months because property taxes come due. 

INSURANCE:It is Owner's responsibility to have coverage and to maintain property insurance coverageagainst any and all perils on the subject properties .Owner shall indemnify and save the Agent harmless from any and all costs, expenses, attorney's fees, suits, liabilities , damages from or connected with the lawful management of the property byAgent or the lawful performance or reasonable exercise of any of the duties, obligations, powers,or authorities herein or hereafter granted to Agent.The Owner agrees to indemnify and hold the Agent harmless from any claims, debts, demands,suits, costs, or charges, including necessary attorney's fees in connection with or arising from themanagement of herein described property including necessary attorney's fees in connection with orarising from the management of herein described property (but for any claims that arise from an alleged lack of due care exercised by Agent) and from any liability for injury suffer donor about thepremises by any person whomsoever.Owner agrees to carry liability insurance in limits of not less than $300,000.