What are some solutions or ideas for new investors who have a romantic partner/spouse who does not like the idea of living in a duplex or having an ADU etc.

Don't sacrifice your time with your kids or your romantic time with your wife.

A relationship with a lender (not the romantic kind!).

That's a very romantic saying...but totally unrealistic.You're right about it being a numbers game, and the numbers with $ in front rule the game. 

It's romantic in a way, but also scares the tar out of people.  

You get her interested by sharing some results now.Use some of that Cashflow (after accounting for all the standard things PITI maintenance, vacancy, capex etc) and take her to a romantic dinner.Next year, use some proceeds for a vacation-maybe only a weekend getaway, whatever tje CF can support.Be transparent that the rentals are paying for it.

Romantic, boutique hotels like the Shinola, The Foundation, The Detroit Club Hotel are plentiful that we will all once again feel comfortable in visiting.

Personally, though, I would absolutely disclose in writing that I'm in a romantic relationship with someone to whom I refer business. 

BTW, @Craig Hansen , how's "Romantic-Willimantic" REI doing?

It is romantic to cry wolf on these but 99.999% of the time, all these fees are in line as they are reviewed in the foreclosure action and become a part of the total amount due to redeem.