I think house hacking with a VA is still well worth it. 

However, it's fair to question the integrity of the management since it's in-house.

In order to help finance the care, we are currently renting house and foresee needing to draw equity from it in the future. 

The settlement yesterday I bought a house appraised for $396,000, and I paid $255,000. 

You could get the 3rd party processing fee removed by working with a broker/lender that does in house processing.Seems you're being gouged for the appraisal review and admin fee...that's ridiculous. 

The end goal is to have a piece of land with multiple houses: one for my growing family but also a home for my mother in law.My mother in law has agreed to foot the money on a new property/land up front and when ready we can buy land from her to build/develop etc. 

I have 2 quotes for renovation work on a house. 

Hi Jeff, as everyone has mentioned, I would suggest house-hacking a 2-4 unit if you have the means.

Given that affordable housing is a national issue it seems that the more pathways to home ownership is a good thing.

On houses below $200k, the 70% rule gives you too low of a profit - you need to lower it the lower you go (ie a $100k ARV would probably be a 60% rule).