Even though cash is coming out of your pocket, you are essentially exchanging your cash for a hard asset (the property).Some cash expenses can be deducted. 

"- in exchange for basically analyzing their life situation and drawing up a buisness plan for them.

It does not.Here is the complete, relevant statute (as amended):"Real estate broker" means any individual or business entity, including a partnership, association, corporation, or limited liability company, who, for compensation or valuable consideration, (i) sells or offers for sale, buys or offers to buy, or negotiates the purchase or sale or exchange of real estate, including units or interest in condominiums, cooperative interest as defined in § 55.1-2100, or time-shares in a time-share program even though they may be deemed to be securities or (ii) leases or offers to lease, or rents or offers for rent, any real estate or the improvements thereon for others, or (iii) sells or offers to sell, buys or offers to buy, or negotiates or otherwise deals in real estate contracts, including assignable contracts, on two or more occasions in any 12-month period.The newest language (in italics) refers to individuals or entities who DEAL IN REAL ESTATE CONTRACTS. 

My long term goal is to have a beach vacation home that functions as a STR that we stay in when we want, hopefuly 1031 exchanging into that.I also have started 2 real estate investing networking groups, and a monthly meetup.

Can I sell a single-family rental and do a 1030 exchange for a multi-unit? 

I think the TIC idea will allow you to 1031 exchange out separately.

I am looking through communities, exchanges, groups, and distribution lists to locate a buyer.

A 1031 exchange (45 days to find another property, 180 days to close) might something to think about.If I was in your shoes:1.

You could still DEFER the other 75% of gains and your depreciation recapture by using a 1031 exchange.

That is not the case, because the seller or builder is paying for it in exchange of not dropping the price.