I do not get references from family members because their relative may say nice things to avoid upsetting a relationship, or just to get the individual out of their basement!

Why would the bank be upset at you coming to them for a second loan or third loan?  

I know there are some people who will drop out of REI after a small setback, but maybe then this business is not for them.I remember when we had the copper ripped out of our rehab shortly before closing to an end buyer - we were so upset.  

When I lived in chicago, i lived in a building in radiators, and man was i upset about that law, but it was what it was and was told if i wanted heat before the day they were required to turn it on, I would have to provide my own source of heat.

I went to the house the 1st time after we had in contract during the 3 day inspection, I still didn't like it, I then told my realtor to counter at inspection with a lower price (I thought they wouldn't take it, and then get me off the hook without upsetting my team)...and the sellers took my new price which was 10k less then my original...now I was STUCK with the thing and had to make it work.How to do this from afar?

Nothing upsets the delicate balance of multi-family living than when tenants find out that the folks in Apartment A pay $50 a month less than they do

She was so upset that I targeted her with a personally written letter.

However, I also find that people don't really get upset when I have to reject them because my criteria was clearly stated up front.

Ultimately I'd assume your sister is going to get upset when you ask her to start paying rent.

Is that OK, or are you going to be upset that your fee went down due to their incompetence?