It sounds like you don’t want to upset a friend, by raising their rent.

I would prefer to try and scare her off before she does upset the guests.

My wife is even more upset and I am torn between panic and trying to be strong for her.

I read a post about investors being upset if your assignment fee is high.

You'd be upset too.

I was a little upset he did not wait, but at days end it was my fault. 

Also, revealed details of contents could have lead this person to share info with someone else, would may have took the opportunity to break into the home.Obviously, the buyer is extremely upset as well as my family because our personal business was shared with people that was not a party to the transaction, which should violate some code conduct.My question is: can someone point me to a standard of conduct or ethical information that would explain the recourse or ramifications for this type of activity by this appraiser.I’ve searched high and low, but I haven’t found anything.

When i called her back, she was angry and upset.

As long as they aren't damaging the property or upsetting neighbors, it should be fine.  

Worse, if the owners situation changes, the tenants situation changes (i.e. they know they will not buy it now so they are just upset and treat the property as many tenants would) or the market situation changes in 3 years there is nothing that could be done since the owner has contracted to sell this house to the other party thus ensuring that the house can't be sold.