.* Day 4: Maintenance responds to my pest control request by spraying a $30 bottle of Walmart roach spray around the house like I couldn't and didn't do that already. * Day 5: I find a live roach on my windowsill the next morning.Currently: One bathroom is taped shut and not working.

And since your life, such as it is, consists of responding to every BP post mentioning yourself within 15 seconds, you should have no problem responding within the next, say, 1 hour with your “evidence” to back up your slanderous remark. 

Most who respond recommend creative financing....seller financing, sub to etc. or using highly levered hard money debt. 

My tenant never responded to the notice and won't respond to me at all so I have no idea what will happen.

Exactly  its why I only respond to limited PM's.

The family still live in the property and is not responding.

The best option is to respond quickly and professionally in hopes that they move out.I would give the tenant two options: 1. vacate the rental in one week, leaving it in the same condition as when they moved in, and I will refund their deposit within 72 hours; or2.

I responded to you because I genuinely am trying to help you (for free).

Ok Joe, dm me for their contact and you can run with it…   I was simply responding to the pictures and the commentary of your original post. 

The answers to these should form a good foundation for the forum to respond with some ideas.