@Jeff Cagle All the points you bring up are totally valid, but like I said, that model doesn't pretend to illustrate any sort of risk adjusted returns.

Tell your Johnny to stop pretending he is an accountant and hire a professional.

The mother-in-laws and apartments at around 280k-330k seem okay, but I guess I zero idea what to put for the "pretend" rent when I analyze a deal like that.

While I am very new and will not pretend to give you professional advice, I can repeat some of what I've been told so far.

Alabama statute says it's illegal to make landlord pay for tenant's unpaid water and sewer, but most landlords don't know that and most water boards pretend like the statute doesn't exist, so you really need to make a stink over it.  

Which works out to be the case anyway-nobody is ever 'first'.Anyway, and I may have left out a thing or two, but that is basically our process.One more thing: there are people out there making calls who are not applicants, they work for various agencies checking up on LL practices by pretending to be applicants, they want to see if you might be in violation of of fair housing, discrimination etc.

Let's pretend there aren't closing costs for the sake of keeping the numbers straightforward. 

Don’t try to pretend to be somebody you’re not.

You've sure spend a LOT of time today trying to prove why/ how you should knowingly report a return that doesn't clearly state the actual amount of money your business made for the purposes of obtaining a loan you really can't afford because you inflated your income.Here's what I've literally seen people do: Leave off expenses to get a loan- then switch tax prepares to amend pretending they didn't know about those expenses so that now they pay less tax by amending to claim those expenses.

Pretend you are a prospective renter and need a place to live.