Overcoming Fear and Networking with a Purpose

[Caleb Bryant]

Overcoming Fear and Networking with a Purpose

Over the past two years I have made networking a primary focus in my real estate business. I have spent a lot of money on education, coaching, and other business-related expenses, and by far, networking has achieved the highest return on investment. Why is this the case, you might ask? I believe it is the fact that real estate is primarily a business based on relationships, and there is no better way to build relationships than getting out and meeting new people. Some people are naturally outgoing and thrive in networking settings, but when I started, I was not one of those people—especially in large groups. In this article, I’ll give you a few ideas to help get past the fear of networking and also some tips on how to make strong, long-lasting connections.

My first attempt at networking was posting comments and questions on BiggerPockets.com and connecting with local real estate investors, purely to learn more about the business of real estate investing. All of these meetings were one on one, which is an excellent way to learn strategies that are working in your market, but I also recommend going to group meetings.

The first time I went to a group meeting was somewhat by chance. A co-worker at Domino’s saw that I was reading Gary Keller’s book The Millionaire Real Estate Investor,and asked if I’d like to attend his mixer for professionals, emphasizing that it would be a great way to build my business. I went, but I’ll admit, I wasn’t very good in a group networking setting at first. I tended to hide in a corner and wait for people to approach me instead of initiating any engagement. When people did come talk to me, I had no system for following up with them for future business. As I continued to put myself in networking settings, I came up with a few ways to help get higher returns on my time invested, and I came up with some tricks for when I wasn’t feeling very extroverted.

Find the easiest target

You might get approached first at a networking event, but most likely you will have to dig up some courage and talk to someone. Lucky for you, I have some hacks to make networking less intimidating. If I am feeling anti-social, I look for a few things to get myself warmed up: someone who appears to have a similar personality to me, someone who looks new, or someone who looks more uncomfortable than I am. In the instance of someone who looks new or uncomfortable in this setting, you are doing a favor by helping that person start the process easily, which in turn makes you feel better! When it comes to a person with a similar personality as you, it’s simply easier to talk to someone with similar interests. Whether it’s the way one is dressed or the fact that you both hold a coffee, find something in common and start the conversation! Sometimes it just takes talking to one or two people to get the process flowing smoothly.

Leverage your current network

If you have been to more than one networking event there is a chance that you already know someone there. Another tactic I use to meet more people even when I’m not feeling outgoing is to leverage the people I already know. At large networking events often times small groups of four to five people will form, and when you know one of the people in that small circle, you have the ticket to join. I always approach the person I know because he or she will naturally introduce me to the group. Typically, the group will then go back to its conversation, which is a good opportunity to listen and learn about the people you’ve just met. Then, as the conversations continue, you can ask questions or add your own input and really begin to build rapport and deepen those connections. Other times, after your friend makes the introduction, you’ll be asked what you do. This is a great opportunity to practice your elevator pitch and answer any follow up questions.

Dress in what is comfortable to you

The following tip works well for me but is probably more personality dependent. When I go to networking events, I dress in clean, comfortable clothing—usually a pair of joggers and a clean t-shirt—bonus points if your shirt has your branding on it. Dressing like this makes me feel more comfortable, but it also makes me look more comfortable and approachable to those around me. The standard attire for the events I attend is typically business casual, but often times there are a lot of people wearing suits and ties. I learned this tip originally from Pejman Ghadimi, the creator of Secret Entourage and Exotic Car Hacks. Pejman said that he went to events where everyone wore suits and ties, but he always wore a clean white t-shirt or polo and a nice watch. He always had people approaching him simply because he was different and looked comfortable. I’ll admit I don’t have a Rolex, but I took his tips and ran with them and have had success even without wearing a Patek Philippe. Now, I’ll shift to systems that will help you get the most out of the contacts you’ve just made!

I talk to people for a minimum of five minutes

A lot of people disagree with me on this point: they say you should never spend more than five minutes with any one person in order to exchange as many business cards as possible. I prefer quality over quantity, and while I practiced this before anyone had told me to network in this way, my theory was reinforced by some heavyweights in the multifamily real estate industry. In theBest Ever Apartment Syndication Book, Joe Fairless and Theo Hicks say that for every networking event attended they are looking to make one to two long-term connections, and if it is a multiple-day event, one to two connections per day. A very similar view was expressed by Andrew Campbell of Wildhorn Capital on the Investing In The U.S. podcast with Reed Goossens. I try to spend at least thirty minutes with a connection if I feel that we could benefit each other’s businesses, or if the person seems like a potentially good business partner. (This would be considered a number one in the next section.) If I need more time beyond that I ask if they would like to go to lunch, that way I can continue the conversation, but still have time to meet other people. I try to spend five minutes with someone even when there isn’t a clear advantage to my business for two reasons: one, to show that I care, and two, we might be able to benefit each other at a later time.

The Number System

You are going to receive a lot of business cards at networking events, but it can be hard to keep track of them all. I number the cards I receive with the numbers one, two, or three. I put a one on the card if it’s from someone I had an immediate connection with—based on the conversation, I know that we could benefit each other immediately. These are the types of people that I will spend at least thirty minutes with or invite to lunch. I always follow up with a number one following the event, within three to four days. I send an email that is highly personalized and specific to conversations we had, and I also give them a call.

I put the number two on business cards from people that I believe I can help in the near future but will take a bit of time. I usually spend at least fifteen minutes with someone like this. My strategy with number two cards is to follow up within two weeks of the event if possible, but I don’t stress over it if it takes closer to a month. I follow up with a personalized email that mentions something we spoke about, and I usually ask for their criteria in real estate deals.

Finally, I put the number three on cards when there is no immediate or near-future benefit for either of us. I follow up with the number three cards by sending out a mass email. I want to thank them for taking the time at the event to speak with me so that if things change, and we can help each other out at a later date, they remember me as someone who cared and took the time to speak with them as well as follow up.

Summing it all up

You never know which new connection is going to make your business explode. The next person you meet might bring you a deal, be your future business partner, or perhaps help solve a problem in your business you’ve been having trouble with for a long time. Take advantage of all the opportunities that are available by putting yourself out there and meeting new people. It can be scary at the beginning, but with some practice you can become an expert. You and your wallet will be happy that you did!

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