I want to househack but San Diego is too expensive... what to do?

[Bora Moon]

Hi, I want to do house hacking but my job is in San Diego. It's just me and my husband, so we can afford to live in a one bed room and rent out the other rooms, whether it's in the form of attached ADU or multi family house. But the problem is it's so expensive in San Diego that the extra rent does not cover mortgage after my share of rent. For example, I am willing to pay ~3500 in rent but monthly payment turns out to be close to $8000. I am not necessarily looking for cash flow, I want longer term appreciation, but still not sure if it's worth paying more than what I would have renting. There's another area, outside California where I can invest with little cash flow with some appreciation expectation. Should I still do house hacking? Is paying more for mortgage worth it?